8/30/14

Step 242 - My greatest gift to the world is my Knowledge. Entry for Step 241 - My anger is unjustified.


Greetings All –


THIS IS YOUR GREATEST GIFT. It is the gift that imbues all other giving and gives it meaning. This is the gift that gives value to all human expression, all human endeavor and all human invention that is intended to support the well-being of humanity in its evolution. Knowledge is not something that you can quantify and give, as if you put it into a package or delineate it with your ideas. It is a presence and a quality of life that is the very essence of life. It makes all giving and contribution meaningful.


THIS IS YOUR GREATEST GIFT, which you are now learning to receive. As you receive it, it will give itself naturally, for you cannot keep Knowledge for yourself. Once it emerges, it begins to express itself in all directions and specifically in certain directions and in certain involvements with certain people according to its design and Wisdom. Thus, if you receive Knowledge, it must be given. It will give itself, and you will want to give it because you possess wealth, and wealth can only be increased through giving. Thus, in essence, life is all about the giving of Knowledge. Wherever this giving cannot be accomplished, there is all manner of deception, disappointment and despair. But when giving is reactivated in these circumstances, these qualities of denial will be dispelled, and Knowledge will once again begin to express itself in very specific ways.


THEREFORE, UPON THE HOUR remind yourself of this great truth, and in your deeper meditations allow yourself to experience Knowledge. Allow yourself to receive it. Give yourself to this application of your mind and your body. In this, Knowledge will give itself, and you will be fulfilled because you have given life the greatest gift that can be given.


PRACTICE 242: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

Today is August 29, 2014. In my Outlook calendar I have an important anniversary noted: “Beginning Student of Knowledge since this day in 1998 – Reading Greater Community Spirituality – Started S2K later on June 27, 1999.”  

At some point, you might record similar dates in your life for annual celebration. Though I come quite a distance, a far greater journey lies ahead. In my years of study I’ve seen students come and go. Many had great commitment and desire to act, but over time, were never seen again. It does take persistence, as it proves to be difficult for others who seek, but are not open to this message.



Like many aspects of human life, Steps gives a unique perspective on things we may think we understand. The Step says: “Here you will realize that your anger is something to be understood. It is not to be rejected, for if you reject anger, you also reject the seed of anger, which is true communication.”  

From the Journal:

10:43 p.m. Tuesday, March 14, 2000 – Tomorrow the Ides of March. Meetings in Winchester for their Downtown consultant selection 9-12 – then to 4-H for 1 – 3 p.m. Housing Workshop #2. Pam and Helen gone – no problem. Then back to office and over to Strasburg Rotary to speak on the water issues. Then to office to prepare for MIF tomorrow. I didn't get to see Sarah all day.

Now to do the practice for 241 "My anger is unjustified." I read it in the a.m. and followed it through the day. It treats anger as reflective of a true emotion – but anger itself a response when there is a failure to apply Knowledge. Anger, as a response, can generate anger in others.

The text says> "Knowledge…will redirect anger so that it has no destructive qualities,…"

Anger is not justified because it is born of confusion.

…your anger is something to be understood. It is not to be rejected, for if you reject anger, you also reject the seed of anger, which is true communication.

The practice is to look at everything that I am angry about, those things that upset and discourage me – this is my inventory of anger:

My greatest anger is with the relationships with women – ---
Lloyd is to be pitied – and as the deliverer of hard lessons to Sarah – someone to pity – rage against.

I'm irritated by others expectations – and I don't know how to be different. Just now Cindy saying I don't smile enough.

I'm doing my work – the work as best I can.

What is the tool/mental trick that gets to the core idea?

– I've had a "nerv-ecktomy" – I don't react or over-react any proposal.

– The GC perspective takes some of the sting out of anger – why be mad?

I'm forgiving of the Exec/Pers Committee – even as they make it a hardship.

I've always held my anger back – anger about the violation of others, or myself. I've suffered little in this life.

– I'm angry that the attitudes of others hurt them so much, and they can't see it. I'm frustrated, but they are really hurt.

It could be I over-react, but I offer good – and it is taken as bad. The message of cooperate is battered by ego – and the retaliation against "men" –

As I read my inventory – I remind myself that these angers are unjustified – I must find the seed of true communication in each.

Over time, through shocks, I’d become good at taking shocks and not reacting. Being Stoic had been a practice of mine. I mention "nerv-ecktomy," as a reason for not being reactive. Later in life, when my mother would tell me not to worry, I’d respond: “My worry circuits have been burned out.”

According to Wikipedia, Groups that need anger management are:
8.1 People with violent backgrounds
8.2 People with intellectual disabilities
8.3 Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) individuals
8.4 People with traumatic brain injuries
8.5 Bullies
8.6 Substance abusers

Still, some small correlation to the Steps approach can be seen in Some Basics: A goal is to lead an anger-free life.[3] Anger is an emotion the person feeling it can respond to.[4] People get into trouble because they don't know enough to keep their cool.[5] They can learn to respond to their anger as unwanted rather than react to its cause.[5] Forgiveness is a tool to turn anger off.[5] Getting enough sleep is a tool for preventing anger.[6] Professionals who deal with those who have trouble managing anger include mental health counselors, psychologists and psychiatrists.[7]

The Steps understanding of anger is helpful. Other tools are to be presented. I am more honest today, but there are still things I need to put into practice. This may help you manage hot-buttons when they get pushed. No guarantee that button-pushers are out of your life completely. Let us continue.

NNC



P.S. At Step 242, we are into Part Two of Steps, so if you’ve found this and find some appeal in this or other Steps, you should really go to the beginning blog post. From here you learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense and then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message