Greetings All –
HOW CAN YOU BE ANGRY WHEN THE WORLD SERVES YOU? When
you recognize how much the world is serving you, which can only be recognized
in the context of Knowledge, you will then end all of your hatred towards the
world, all of your condemnation of the world and all of your resistance to the
world. This will confirm your true destiny, your true origin and your true purpose
for being in the world.
YOU HAVE COME INTO THE WORLD TO LEARN AND TO
UNLEARN. You have come into the world to recognize what is real and what is not.
You have come into the world to be a contributor to the world, a contributor
who has been sent from beyond the world to serve here. This is the real nature
of your presence here, and though it may seem to conflict with your evaluation
of yourself, it is true nonetheless and will be true regardless of your point
of view, regardless of your own ideals and beliefs and regardless of whatever
pursuits you may set for yourself. The truth awaits you and waits for you to be
ready to value it.
UPON THE HOUR REMEMBER TODAY’S IDEA and see its
application everywhere as you look about at the world. In your two deeper practices
once again bring to mind every person that you feel has erred against you, and
once again attempt to understand their contribution to you in bringing you to
Knowledge, in teaching you to value Knowledge and in teaching you to realize
that there is no hope beyond Knowledge. There is no hope without Knowledge. Today’s
idea will engender love and gratitude towards the world and will strengthen this
point of view, which will be necessary for you to have to look upon the world
with certainty, love and Knowledge.
PRACTICE 292: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly
practice.
Another contemplative day in the journal, which follows:
6:40
a.m. Wednesday, May 3, 2000 – I was awake at 5 a.m., but slow to rise – 6:30 – probably
avoiding S2K 291 – "I am grateful to my brothers and my sisters who err
against me."
In
Practices #1 & #2 I am to think of people who have erred against me – and
thus brought me to Knowledge. Though true – it is painful and the err's
continue at work – in fact – I can't see an end to them. I'm slowly moving to get some sense from what I do –
regional intelligence – but still seek external support for those views.
There
is the world and me in the world. I've always been a seeker, but not a finder.
If S2K is in other religious practices, I couldn't find it.
Errors
by parents/the world in youth/H.S. – led me to understand the "fear enforced
morality" and I concluded too that we were seeking to put back together
the spilled files of the universe – a crude version of reclaiming Knowledge
(perhaps) (my ego would like to think it has always been right).
Getting
a sense of self was difficult. At 17 I wanted life to end – but it did not.
I
didn't fit well into the Navy until I read "As a Man Thinketh,"
which Mom had sent. Once I stopped fighting the Navy and decided to become a
Yeoman – life improved.
From
1969 – 1980 – the greatest ERR – was on the part of M.E. That whole illusion
sent me searching for God – the faith [neighbors]
seemed to demonstrate.
From
1990 on – life got more difficult – --- brought great Err's into my life which
forced a deeper turn to spirituality.
M.E. continued to err – with little recourse on my part.
1997
– with G---/N---, work staff turnover – and the continued low performance of M---
– the errs multiplied to having real enemies – a complete surprise to naïve me.
In
1997 – introduced to GC – 1998 – Fall – 1st book – 6/27/99 – started Steps.
I've
been slow to respond and understand my need. I've certainly not understood the roots
of ambivalence and confusion in the world.
The
natural systems are better indicators, since they don't "think."
"Forgive
us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." My errs
have probably been greater. I need to ask forgiveness myself – but from whom?
8:02
a.m. So – where am I? – In recognition of my student ship – I err/others err –
does that make us any less students? Not – so how do we move forward?
Our
fragmentation is a luxury of our isolation from the greater community and lack
of external harshness in the environment.
Do
we need diversity for its own sake? – It is being lost as we become one world.
In
spite of the errors – my life has quality and I am on my mission – soon to
become more clear.
Amen & Amen
T-om Su-ne
7:25
p.m. Practice #2 – on the back porch. At lunch I went to the trail – walked in
on the orphan side with my folding chair and ate my Whopper meal – didn't have
much time – but it was nice –
It
goes against the grain to be grateful for pain. In the S2K world – action is
allowed – you need not to be a total victim – and there is real error – so, the
lessons may require a long recovery, reflect real risk and trauma in life.
I
just don't want any pain – to receive it or cause it. Just living leads to pain
– but – error/ignorance is a great challenge. I don't know if I've much more
sense than 10, 20, or 30 years ago. I'm not as wise as my father appeared to be
when he was this age.
"Be
grateful to those who teach you that it is hopeless to engage in any pursuit in
the world without Knowledge." – I am seeking a greater connection to Knowledge
for the pursuit of regional intelligence – my words for regional
cooperation/integration.
How
am I to know who is working w/o Knowledge? Results alone are not proof of
internal intent?
Closing
my eyes, it would be easy to disappear – but then the world would win I suppose
– I'd miss the opportunity to help my kids – so they can get along in aches.
It's this more existential pain –
How
has N--- shown me what is necessary in my life?
What
I am doing is persisting in the face of ignorance about the work I've done, the
work I do – it is invisible – I can not communicate it simply. I've developed
"regional intelligence" as a concept – and I'm inventing a new way of
thinking. This is my key mission – it makes Don Quixote look like a WWF champ
compared to the windmills I engage with.
I've
been exiled – Napoleon sent to St. Helena – imprisoned, yet set free – I even
have time for this sitting on the back porch.
B---
is even more weird – the personnel expert architect for N---.
Then
there's do-nothing/I'm entitled M---. Paying more attention might have helped,
but the higher was bad from the start?
"In
this, all who err against you become your friends, for even in their misery
they serve you and will call upon you to serve them."
→ this day will
soon come.
Are
there any others who've erred against me? What about those I've erred against?
Probably more that way –
Being
nearly invisible – I've maintained a minimal body. No real defenses.
Still
– I accumulated enemies, then made errors as I was attacked – still – neither
doing right or wrong made a difference.
"Life
is conspiring to bring you to Knowledge." My life and the errs included
brought me to seek Knowledge – so it worked.
"Allow
this day to be a day of forgiveness and a day of acceptance…" I do – Amen
& Amen – T-om Su-ne
My
company name – chocolate Vivaldi
"Chocolate
Vivaldi"
11
p.m. Finished Beckworth – the Key is "passion" – I've had that,
burned out, and found no staff peers with the same -
Still
– I'm re-energized – with Knowledge online.
This
was a long exercise and review. If you’ve taken on being highly aware of what
is going on, it may become a little difficult to sleep. Let us continue.
NNC
P.S. At Step 292, we are into Part Two of Steps, so
if you’ve found this and find some appeal in this or other Steps, you should
really go to the beginning blog post. From here you learn about Steps to Knowledge and
can begin it on the day that makes sense and then progress as needed. You can
use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in
order in the archives - one per Step.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps
once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference
how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide
a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One
may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps
students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as
a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well
through the Free School of the New Message.
