Step 332 - I am only beginning to comprehend the meaning of Knowledge in my life. Entry for Step 331 - What is small expresses that which is great.
Greetings All –
YOU ARE ONLY BEGINNING TO COMPREHEND THIS, for your comprehension will be born of experience, recognition and the result of your application. Because you are a beginning student of Knowledge, you have a beginning comprehension. Take heart in this, for this frees you from attempting to draw conclusions about your participation and about your life. Thus, you need not attempt the impossible and can relieve your mind of a great burden that would otherwise overshadow your happiness and dispel your sense of peace and meaningful activity today. When you accept that you are only beginning to comprehend the meaning of your life and the meaning of Knowledge within your life, this frees you to participate and to learn more. Without the burden of judgment, which you would place upon your life otherwise, you are free to participate and your participation will make you free.
REMIND YOURSELF UPON THE HOUR that you are only beginning to comprehend the meaning of Knowledge in your life. In your deeper practice periods, once again enter your sanctuary of Knowledge so that your capacity for Knowledge may grow, your desire for Knowledge may grow and your experience of Knowledge may grow. Only as these things grow can your comprehension grow. Therefore, you are freed from judgment. You are free to participate, where all understanding will emerge.
PRACTICE 332: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.
At this point, the language of the individual Steps begins to get stronger. Can one get it all the first time through? I doubt it. That is why the second pass through will begin January 1. That will then be followed by Continuation Steps. Over my years as a student, I’ve found things go better when I have a Steps practice daily. It provides structure and continuous amazement as I find aspects I didn’t see, recognize or grasp when studied earlier.
Step 331 ends strongly with the sanctuary of Knowledge:
The journal entries were mundane, testing a metaphor for regions:
8:32 a.m. Monday, June 12, 2000 – Sliced Bread – the whole loaf made manageable – regions = sliced bread/or
Local = sliced bread – regions are club sandwiches.
Loaf = State
slices = localities
sandwiches = regions
9:40 a.m. Regions – a geography for coordination
– In the Winc Star this morning – The Step "That which is small expresses that which is great," was exemplified in the story about Charles Martel Hale, Jr. – an autistic man who could not speak – but through facilitated communication has been able to connect…
7:25 p.m. – Home – tired, sweaty – lots to do at work, but little motivation. ---
8:04 p.m. At the trailhead – the more I read “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” – the angrier I get – The last 10 years have been a waste. I've lost my business – PDC and have no next plan. Because Cindy never wanted to do financial planning – I didn't make time and have not done what I could.
I'm angry. Getting wealthy was not a goal. Could have been – I was on Spiritual Welfare – The art of planning – for whom? I wasn't taking care of the pillars – wealth/health – so I don't have what I think I need
11:58 p.m. Home – Worked Water Auth. 9-11:30 – Why?
Oh, yes, anger too. I don’t know if this is normal for students of Knowledge, but I had a similar experience 20+ years before. My first wife and I went to marriage counseling. I’d met separately with the counselor, a woman, about our age – early 30’s. After I told her my problems and experiences in the then eight year marriage, I got angry about what I’d tolerated. This I explained in the next session and she said that was common, once we’ve been honest with ourselves.
This is, then not entirely a new lesson, but I for one, as a human, am a slow learner. I read and understand the words, but the experience and action, that takes time. Let us continue. This kind of anger management is probably better all the way around, though it is a surprise that it is an issue. “I thought I was smarter than that.” Let us continue.
P.S. At Step 332, we are 33 Steps from the end – Step 365. This is not the place to begin this Practice. If you’ve some interest due to this or other Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one post per Step.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.