Greetings All – Step 188 - My life in this world is more important than I had realized before.
IS THIS A GRANDIOSE IDEA? No, it is not. Does this
idea betray your need for humility? No, it does not. You are here for a greater
purpose than you have imagined, for your imagination does not contain the
meaning of your purpose in life. In life there is only purpose and all the
things that are substitutes for this purpose, which are born of fearful imagination.
You are here to live a greater life than you have yet realized, and this
greatness is what you carry within you. It may be expressed in the simplest of
lifestyles and in the simplest of activities. Activities are great because of
the essence that they convey, not because of the stimulation that they may
arouse in other people.
UNDERSTAND THIS DISTINCTION VERY CAREFULLY, and you
will begin to learn to discern greatness from smallness and to learn how smallness
can serve greatness. This will integrate every aspect of yourself, for part of
you is great and part of you is small. Your personal mind and your physical
body are small and are meant to serve the greatness of Knowledge. This
integrates you. This is what integrates life as well. There is no inequality
here, for everything is working together to serve a greater purpose, which you
have come to serve.
IN YOUR LONGER PRACTICE PERIODS TODAY, engage your
mind actively in attempting to understand these things. Your understanding will
be born of your investigation, not merely of ideas that you find self-comforting
or personally agreeable. Use your mind to investigate. With eyes closed, think
on these things. Concentrate very carefully, and when your concentration comes
to an end, release all ideas and enter into stillness and silence. Thus, the
mind is purposefully engaged, and then it is brought into stillness. These are
the two functions of the mind, which you will be practicing today.
REMIND YOURSELF OF YOUR PRACTICE upon the hour and
utilize this day for your development, which is your gift to the world.
PRACTICE 188: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly
practice.
Note: “Your personal mind and your physical body are
small and are meant to serve the greatness of Knowledge. This integrates you. This
is what integrates life as well.”
From the Journal:
8:10
A.M. January 20, 2000 – Where am I? P Step 187 I’m a citizen of the Greater Community
of Worlds. An honor shared by all and for which there is no vote, except perhaps
with the soul – you couldn’t vote with your feet/mobility.
In
spite of long sleep – I’m tired, waking up into all my work – which is why I’m
here – which is all necessary. I’m not, to the best of my awareness, doing
unimportant things. I need others to do the important pieces - and that takes training.
The only
person who really needs me here is Sarah. Second to that is David. For them –
my real people – I keep up the work, build/maintain the foundation.
It
is clear that I’m not responsible for the world’s situation. I’m not co-dependent
with God and responsible/guilty for the condition of “What is!”
3:42
p.m. The foundation works, even when I’m not. The MIF budget bill is going in.
I need to try to get more co-patrons.
In
this work something is missing – a pillar is shakey – or I’m flakey.
9:40
p.m. 2 hr 40 min into VH1’s 100 greatest Rock Songs – This instead of going to
work. I would love to be a musician – in the music business.
10:40
p.m. Where am I? Experiencing my music. Are these relationships that endure? I’d
guess not – but music is important to me. Music moved America, moved the world
and continues to do so!
Working thought this Step and applying Steps and
Greater Community Spirituality insight to my life all at once. At this point,
it is my children which I think to be most in need of me, though my daughter is
20 at this point and son 22, and they live in Texas. The challenges there last
for a long time. Much experience to come.
I also lament that I’m not a musician, though the
reality is I’d always been lacking in some basic aptitudes, like being able to
tune my guitar. The entries here are neither good nor bad, but the workout of
disappointment and, ultimately replacement of losses with grateful
understanding. Let us continue.
NNC
P.S. At Step 188, we are into Part Two of Steps, so
if you’ve found this and find some appeal in this or other Steps, you should
really go to the beginning blog post. From here you learn about Steps to Knowledge and
can begin it on the day that makes sense and then progress as needed.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps
once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference
how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide
a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One
may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps
students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as
a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well
through the Free School of the New Message.
