Greetings All –
TODAY I WILL NOT THINK THAT I CAN UNDERSTAND Knowledge
with my intellect or that I can conceptualize the greatness of life. I will not
think today that by a mere idea or assumption I can fully gain access to
Knowledge itself. Realizing this, I will understand what is required of me and
what I must give to my practices, for I must give of myself.
YOU MUST GIVE OF YOURSELF. You cannot merely think
of ideas and hope that they will answer your greatest need. Realizing this today,
repeat your practice upon the hour and in your deeper meditations give yourself
completely to the experience of
Knowledge. Enter into stillness. Allow yourself to be completely involved. With
this you will exercise the power of your own mind on your behalf. You will then
realize that you have the power to dispel distractions; you have the power to dispel
fear; you have the power to dispel obstructions because your will is to know
Knowledge.
PRACTICE 197: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly
practice.
Yesterday: Step 196 -
Review
From the Journal:
9:22
PM Saturday, January 29, 2000 – at the Albertson’s grocery store in Murphy. I'd
just come from dropping Sarah and Lloyd off at their trailer.
We’d
gone to the movie Galaxy Quest and afterwards, went to the Starbucks for a talk
– I said they shouldn't be getting married if they didn't get along better.
Driving
to their home – the talk kept going – and at the mobile home – the alcohol
story fell out.
I
told her about being hurt as a child, ACOA
– and being mad at God and wanting to die. I told her people drink, drug, eat to
kill the pain and kill themselves. I told her how that God is not responsible
for that – he gave us freedom to live – and in the middle of the bad, something
good happens – and we stay living. That's our spirit – the mind and body – we
leave behind.
In
jail she prayed to God. I said that's why I took her and David to Church – so
that when they had nothing they would have God – we know God is real.
More
was said – I told her how kids from alcoholic families are drawn together…
I
encouraged her to go to 12 Step – saying in 12 Step you forgive. …
I
told them that knowing about dysfunctional families in the generations of
alcoholics would help us live better and be forgiving. …
Afterwards
it felt like I’d given Sarah and Lloyd – Knowledge about spirit – mind – body –
and the pain that we deal with. … This is all well as needed for current
healing.
11
PM - The long review – Step 196 – begins. All is quiet – here in Texas – back
at David's. Review covers two weeks – Steps 183-196 – it has been within the
last few days – I've understood the wisdom of the use of the word Knowledge.
My
results in the world have been improving markedly: and "regions work"
opportunities have been appearing.
Prior to finding Greater Community Spirituality, one
of my theories, as it became clear that somehow we had chosen to incarnate on
Earth, was that that there was a place somewhere in Heaven, like a café or
Starbucks, where we’d once sat around talking and said, “Let’s go to earth and
live in dysfunctional families; that will be fun.”
When I did the review today, July 15, 2014, it took
several hours as I wrote down each Step and perhaps a key phrase which was
striking. On January 29, 2000, things were quite different. I’ve included from
the journal some of the material recorded; just to show how Knowledge had helped
me navigate. My daughter still goes to 12 Step meetings; it’s her social life. How
we get through life is a mystery. It is also a reason we search for
understanding.
NNC
P.S. At Step 197, we are into Part Two of Steps, so
if you’ve found this and find some appeal in this or other Steps, you should
really go to the beginning blog post. From here you learn about Steps to Knowledge and
can begin it on the day that makes sense and then progress as needed. You can
use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in
order in the archives - one per Step.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps
once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference
how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide
a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One
may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps
students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as
a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well
through the Free School of the New Message.