Greetings All –
Step 177 - I will learn
to be honest today. (MP3)
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your Drive – Download folder or play from Drive – Step PDF also.]
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| “I will learn to be honest today.” Step 177 |
THERE IS A GREATER HONESTY THAT IS WAITING for you
to discover. There is a greater honesty that you must utilize on your own
behalf. It is not enough merely to know how you feel. It is a greater
requirement to feel what you know. This is a greater honesty and an honesty
that is in harmony with life itself, an honesty that reflects the true
advancement of all beings in the world. This is not merely expressing and
demanding that your personal intent be carried out. It is demanding instead
that the necessity of life within you may express itself in a way that is
genuine to life itself. The form and the manner of this expression will be
contained in the messages that you will need to deliver to others when the time
comes for that to happen.
LEARN, THEN, TO FEEL WHAT YOU KNOW. This is a greater honesty. It requires both openness
and restraint. It requires self-inspection. It requires objectivity about your
life. It requires stillness and peace as well as the ability to engage your
mind actively in exploration. Thus, all that you have learned so far is
contributed and utilized in today’s practice.
REMIND YOURSELF UPON THE HOUR OF TODAY’S PRACTICE
and seriously consider it in the moment in which you find yourself. In the longer
practices today, again enter stillness and engage your mind in this meaningful
activity. The mind must be brought into the proximity of its Ancient Home for
it to find comfort and peace. This requires self-discipline at the outset, but
once the engagement is made, the process happens in and of itself naturally.
LEARN TO BECOME MORE HONEST TODAY. Learn to discern
a greater level of honesty, a genuine level of honesty that affirms your very
nature and does not betray your highest purpose.
PRACTICE 177: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly
practice.
Honest today? The glass wall in today’s picture
could be taken as symbolic of a clarity/honesty in relation to the world, or in
some other sense. Your choice.
Yesterday: Step
176 - I will follow Knowledge today.
From the Journal:
Heads-up – on this day I had a full pen, lots of
time, and used it to explore my own life and record it to my journal. This
entry is quite long. The purpose of referring to my journal is to enable
Students to have a comparison, a benchmark, an example of journaling. This
entry considers some sensitive and personal perspectives which may have no
application or relevance to the reader’s life. In this case, consider it a
range of things that might be recorded in one’s journal – never to be read by
others. Yes, there were/are things I won’t
put in the journal – or may skip over with a …, but this is just an
effort to have you recognize there is freedom to record your thoughts because,
people mostly don’t care. If you are discrete, no one will find your journals
and read them out loud to your embarrassment. So – here goes.
7:54 a.m. Sunday, January 9, 2000
Where am I? This is a good question. I sit in my
new corner of the world – between the computer and the stone wall. I remain, to
the best of my understanding, in the common dimension on earth – that is common
for humans. It is called 3–D + time.
I am a very fortunate being. I have the luxury of
this quiet time on a Sunday morning. I'm moving forward-the middle of my life,
extending the time frame for my participation here.
I've come to take less responsibility for the earth
and more for myself. At least that seems to be the direction. From my early
youth on, the world looked like it needed fixing. That started at home just
with the relationship of my parents. My mother was very unhappy about her
relationship to the world – our low income – which was the responsibility of my
father. He could do nothing right at home, yet at work he was respected, but
not paid well.
Life did not go smoothly. I loved church [Lutheran] and Bible study, but was confused by the different
perspectives of my mostly Catholic friends.
I related well to teachers, but was smaller and
weak among the boys of the ‘hood.
I've enjoyed teachers all my life, but had often
been overwhelmed by my assumed responsibilities. I chose planning as a
profession to help fix the world. A better perspective now is that of advancing
the world. Actually, the world is doing that on its own. I am falling behind it
seems some time.
Where I fit has always been problematic. I was
angry about the dysfunction in my family, but have come to learn everyone was
doing the best they could. I've been quite fortunate – sincerely blessed which
leads to guilt – why do I have so much – but then it's not money, so of
necessity I must work on that.
Fear has been a big factor in my life. It is in most
people's life. I saw it in my mother, but not in my father. He tried to deal
with her fear – and let me mediate between them.
ACIM
helped me deal with the fear as well as my ACOA work at Caron. Saving the
world is a weak position it seems now. One should advance the world.
The only problem is knowing in which direction to
go. Advancing organizational cooperation, as an antidote to fragmentation and
separation seems to cover my found work. It may come from those early
experiences. Blessed are the peacemakers seems to attract, but I do not have
peace in all my relationships.
People often thrive on conflict and create some
where there is none, just for the adrenalin.
After 53 years of movement on and about the planet,
I have thus far developed skills to keep my body alive and relatively healthy,
keep my heart, mind and spirit open, and contribute here and there to my fellow
souls. This ability has come from intuition, guidance and a more or less
willing soul.
The nature of economic and political life varies
between cultures and regions on the planet. The cultural overlays on the
physical reality give thy diversity and provide for continuation of physical
beings.
Conflict and war have made an ugly history in terms
of life for humans.
Life is preserved and moving. We have a planetary
perspective that is growing. That framework is important to me. As I grew up in
the 1950s – and 1960s – there was a two way economic war to dominate the planet
– U. S. democratic capitalism and totalitarian communism. The middle ground was
democratic socialism w/o the market force. The greater issues have been
economic relationships, the need/greed for stuff. This is better than fighting
wars.
Technology, specifically computer technology which
digitized the content of communication, has been a response to growing
population which has tremendously increased the number of transactions on the
planet and dust come to demand more and better communications.
Good communication is what allowed families/tribes
to survive/assimilate when needed – and prosper, building two nations. Religion
is a key aspect of any culture. Its view and relationship to the creative force
of the universe and the spirit world which supports the development of life.
The other religion – science, which takes apart and seeks to understand the
physical is a great force as well for change. We have been, I have been, in
interesting times all my life. When young – the pace of change was slower. That
benefited me/and my peers.
Order and change, sustainability and the creation
of value – all challenges in this environment. GCW says get ready – we'll be
joining the galactic folks and we'll be very surprised.
This is not illogical to me – nor is it illogical
that the manifest reality that I/we experience is the out playing of creation.
The rules of creation, its truth – its knowledge
can be unchanging – while the maid – up manifestation is design/build/sustain
or there are
two loops.
Still point in center is connected to/is the
spiritual context both in and out.
→ The whole earth
is a single local planet in the solar system and galaxy and this sector of the
universe, wherever that might be.
→ Its peoples and
cultures have been localized and ethnocentric for the most part. The locals of
economic necessity must be regional in order to be seen and be sustainable.
It has been rare for the earth's peoples and
governments to act as one. The Y2K need to correct a design limitation in the
original software genetics of this industry compelled redesign.
The year date field gene has been expanded to four
cells. That gives the computer DNA 7999 more years of room until Y10K in which
case – what? Should the year date field go to five characters now to extend the
DNA to 99999 – 97999 more years?
Maybe we need a trip odometer installed to track
time independently of the big odometer. Might that be more efficient?
Is it more important that computer DNA be an open
system? Like the Linux model, instead of owned by proprietary economic
cultures.
In my mapping/recognition of regions – I see that
time zones are powerful regions… And that further, the biological/cultural
systems that supported creation of the technology that then threatened them are
easily capable of beating/fixing the flaws. Knowledge is at work as a powerful
wave within society and that force undergirds the sustainable creation.
Going back to my diagram of context – the spiritual
context is the stillness which permeates all manifest contexts.
By recognizing this ultimate relationship – I can
be in the world, yet not of the world – believing that it is reversed. I am a
spirit in body and it is time for the manifest.
Is advancement the goal in manifestation, or simply
experience? Since all experience can't be had at once – and the possibilities
for variation are endless – souls can do this/or do nothing. I need do nothing,
yet I've sought manifestation – and in doing so have a purpose. I accept this –
having no real choice I suppose, and seek to know what I've come to contribute.
I imagine – bringing the spirit connection from
stillness in to balance and dynamic piece could be useful – and I hear
"yes."
So, this is where I am today @9:35 a.m. On with
S2K. As I left the woods last night I was accompanied by golden light at many
points along the path. Su-Ne has also become a truth point.
12:56 p.m. What would Knowledge have me do today?
In this time of quiet and peace map the structure that will return meaning,
purpose, direction do it right here.
What is the meaning of the PDC [Planning District Commission]? Its creation
meant that leaders recognize the need for a structure which grouped local
governments and to districts as a means to overcome the separation created when
they chartered. Its creation was voluntary not mandatory. It was a structure to
help deal with change. It was by design, intended to be used for administration
in government. It was an aide to see larger.
Purpose flows from the meaning which is dynamic. It
was meant to support cooperation, but a single region can be no more effective
than a single locality if it does not look both outwardly and inwardly.
Direction. There has been a shift in the direction
toward being a resource on greater issues, the facilitator of access to the
state and the development of issues.
I am the representative, primary balancer of the
dynamic direction of the commission work. I respond to issues and draw the
resources I can. It is my personal relationships which are key to my survival,
I progress. Every relationship I have is based on listening first. In order to
help or be help in finding the direction of need, the trend.
My life now is not what I would have had it be, it
the communicator role I envisioned to help/rescue/save the world – is just
different – not a filmmaker, documentary or entertainment loaded with a heavy,
heavy message – but a hub who can facilitate the bringing together of groups
for the advancement of the world.
That is PDC/regions work – but what is my personal
meaning, direction, purpose?
My meaning as a human is based on family
relationships at this place and time. I am son, father, husband, uncle, cousin
– grandfather – most of all. Children and the responsibility they bring changes
lives. An imperfect children/imperfect parents/imperfect lives. There are
disappointments. Perpetuation of the family and the race, event or not, becomes
necessary. This I see looking back. I did not understand family until later in
life.
3:15 p.m. Following knowledge? About 1:30 P.M. I
made some lunch and coffee. I turned on TV to see what was on. I saw a man of
knowledge – James McBride who was being interviewed about his book "The
Color of Water." It was about his family life in New York City – children
of an interracial couple. His father black, his mother white/Jewish. Apparently
his father/and stepfather died – she was a single mother. He told his story –
and came to resolve issues he had – focusing on the problem of growing up poor.
I continued sampling the TV – fair on Sunday
afternoon. The other thing that caught my eye was MTV – where they are teaching
music – guitar and piano and dance.
The last hook was a Compaq PC commercial. The units
get better and cheaper, though I want a Dell. I do not have the time to use
what I have – it needs to be simplified.
Will techno optimism end in the US? Will it spread?
What of the poor? How can they be reached? I had an idea today for give.org – a
system to simply give things away – get it out of my garage/basement.
It might be need – give, where people list what
they want – and what they need. Keep the stopped moving. Avoid the landfill – a
regional communication service.
Waste not/want not.
5:30 p.m. At the office. I walked as directed. I'm
angry. I guess I'm having to give up my fantasy – that cooperation changes
minds and creates value. The necessity is what did I get for the money? The
universe is a bean counter.
I do not know where things went wrong. People grew
– they left – keeping success sores trained became difficult – then came double
cross. Too many assumptions. Too much trust. Too much vision – too few
resources. I got smacked – smacked hard.
7:15 in nearly 2 hours here I've only accomplished
airline ticket research. I've also added new calendar pages. Not much – I'm
trying to print out the eyes see and a fund info I'll probably not use. Rage
popped out at 6:55 – deep, painful screams to no one. Time is being wasted.
There is nothing here and nothing at home.
I need real help – even just to move my own ass.
High to low that is what it has always been.
8:05 p.m. I cannot follow anything. I cannot tell
personal from real. I am lost. I cannot lead. I must go home.
9:40 5 p.m. Just now getting ready to leave. I've
accomplished some work. The desk is clearer – I am back to my old workaholic
self – is that S2K? I did necessary things. I did work. I don't know if I was
following Knowledge. In the past when I carried the load it seems all I did was
carry others too. That made me angry – that no one could see. This was the
paradox – that the most flexible person must be the leader. Prima donna talents
don't look that way. They are demanding and people respond. I am demanding and
people slough off – I don't get it. May be I never will.
I do not know why I work this way. It might be
knowledge or insanity.
10:15 p.m. My long practice leads to a Holy Instant – here at the
office – in the chair I sit in daily. The purpose, meaning and direction here
is sacred. I have followed knowledge here. I am at peace. I've blessed all my
relationships and now head home warmly.
Amen & Amen
Thomas Joseph
Christoffel
T-om Su-ne
Blessed son of
the creator
– in whose
service I am.
1:02 a.m. Monday, January 10. Space from a high at
work – I come home – eat – wind down – two hours – one surfing – someday I
might stay in Knowledge. I must continue to practice.
NNC
Journal second time x2 Step 176. This
is for those who have completed Steps once. Doing Steps with only the texts,
messages and your life experience, including what you may have studied and
practiced is your journey. I’m showing Step comments after the Step, so as not
to influence you in advance. It is a wilderness trek to be left to your own
wits, but then you can also listen more closely for guides, angels and
teachers, always first saying: “I surround and protect myself with the Love and
the Grace of God.” Thankfully, I was taught this practice in 1989.
P.S. If you’ve some interest due to this or other
Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge
and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can
use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in
order in the archives - one post per Step.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps
once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference
how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide
a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One
may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps
students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as
a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well
through the Free School of the New Message.
