Greetings All –
Step 214 - I do not
understand myself. (MP3)
[Open in Drive or copy to your Drive – Download
folder or play from Drive – Step PDF also.]
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| I do not understand myself. Step 214 |
THIS IS NOT A STATEMENT OF FAILURE OR LIMITATION. It
is simply a statement to liberate you from your own impediments. How can you
possibly understand yourself if Knowledge is not revealing all things to you?
How can you possibly understand the world when Knowledge is not revealing the
world to you? This is pure experience, beyond all concepts and beliefs, for
concepts and beliefs can only follow the experience and attempt to provide a structure
where the experience can arise again. In no way can beliefs, assumptions or
ideas possibly imitate Knowledge itself.
OF COURSE YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOURSELF or the
world, for you only understand your ideas, and they are not eternal. Therefore,
they cannot provide a solid foundation upon which you must learn to stand. Thus,
they can only fail and deceive you if you rely upon them instead of Knowledge
to reveal yourself and the world to you.
UPON THE HOUR REMIND YOURSELF that you do not
understand yourself. Free yourself from the burden of justifying your own judgments.
Look upon yourself in your deeper meditation practices and remind yourself that
you do not understand yourself. Now you are free to enter into stillness, for
you are not attempting to use your experience to justify your fantasies about
yourself. Here your mind becomes free to be itself, and you become free to
appreciate yourself.
PRACTICE 214: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly
practice.
I may not understand myself, but I am keeping a
journal and doing my Steps daily, as the pile on the nightstand shows in this
2009 picture from London.
Yesterday: Step
213 - I do not understand the world.
This Step maybe the easiest to agree with, followed
perhaps by today’s Step “I do not understand myself.” For me, in many years
preceding finding Greater Community Spirituality, the focus for understanding
the world became “communities” and the notes from this journal confirm that.
From the Journal:
12:10
a.m. Monday, February 14, 2000 – Valentine’s Day. What life is this? Regions
w/o reference. On the radio – in advertising text – a reference region with no
qualifier. – At mid–Atlantic – where?
But
that's not why I write tonight. It is to note that I sent M.E. an email
suggesting she seek forgiveness of Sarah.
6:15
a.m. It is all community. The Town of Front Royal – I saw last night – arriving
home from work – to be the universal microcosm. Just as FR is a community –
with various communities interacting – so is the universe – a community of
communities, made of families.
This
being the case – my view has shifted – and being is a relative truth, a
manifesting relationship.
There
are many models – Urantia
might be close. Cosmic community building for me, the trip through the stars.
Step
213 “I do not understand the world.”
The
arrow that is my life soul threads the needle of existence.
The
Work System
…
First time through, this was underlined: “You cannot be in the world without beliefs or
assumptions. Yet, your beliefs and assumptions are meant to be tools to serve
your mind, to give it a temporary structure and to allow it to engage its
natural abilities in a positive manner.” Later, I write “An operating system,” then 7/21/09, “We begin with a simple, often bad map – but it
doesn’t match experience, so we look for, build a better one.” This has
become an important perspective to me, which I’ve expanded. That will be shared
later.
NNC
Journal second time x2 Step 213. This is for those who have completed Steps once. Doing Steps with only the texts, messages and your life experience, including what you may have studied and practiced is your journey. I’m showing Step comments after the Step, so as not to influence you in advance. It is a wilderness trek to be left to your own wits, but then you can also listen more closely for guides, angels and teachers, always first saying: “I surround and protect myself with the Love and the Grace of God.” Thankfully, I was taught this practice in 1989.
P.S. If you’ve some interest due to this or other
Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge
and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can
use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in
order in the archives - one post per Step.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps
once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference
how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide
a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One
may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps
students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as
a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well
through the Free School of the New Message.
