Greetings All –
Step 317 - I need but
relinquish my ambivalence to know the truth. (MP3) [Open in Drive or copy to
your Drive – Download folder or play from Drive – Step PDF also.]
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I need but relinquish my
ambivalence to know the truth. Step 317
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HOW SIMPLE IT IS TO KNOW THE TRUTH when the truth is
truly desired. How easy it is to recognize ambivalence and to see its devastating
impact upon your life. How simple it is to see the evidence of ambivalence in
the world around you and how it undermines the deeper inclinations of all who
dwell here. Seek, then, escape from ambivalence, for this is confusion. Seek,
then, escape from the burden of constant decision making and choice, for this
is a burden.
THE MAN AND WOMAN OF KNOWLEDGE need not burden themselves
with constant deliberation of what they must do, how they must be, who they are
and where they are going in life, for these things become known as each step is
anticipated and taken. Thus, the great weight that you carry in the world is
released from your shoulders. Thus, you begin to trust yourself and the world.
Here peace is possible and assured even for those who are active in the world,
for they carry stillness and openness within them. They are unburdened now and
are in a position to truly contribute.
REMIND YOURSELF OF YOUR LESSON UPON THE HOUR and as
you look upon the world, see the effect and influence of ambivalence. Recognize
how disabling it is and how it emanates from and supports confusion. It is the
result of attempting to value the meaningless and to ignore the meaningful.
Here things of no value compete with things of true value in the estimation of
those who perceive them. Recognize this as you look upon the world. Let not an
hour pass today without practice, for in this way this day will teach you the
importance of Knowledge. It will teach you that ambivalence must be escaped and
that it is the curse of confusion upon the world.
IN YOUR DEEPER PRACTICE PERIODS, escape your own
ambivalence and re-enter the sanctuary of Knowledge where in stillness and in peace
you can fully experience the power of Knowledge and the truth of your own
nature. This is a day of freedom. This is a day of understanding your dilemma
and realizing that your escape is at hand. Take this step with confidence, for
today you can escape ambivalence.
PRACTICE 317: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly
practice.
Right to the journal this day. There is a lot in
it.
12:15
a.m. Sunday – May 28, 2000 – 316 "I will trust my deepest inclinations
today."
What
are these?
•
Continue regional intelligence – thoughts continue to emerge.
•
Complete S2K and continue it
•
Stay @ PDC to do network plan
•
Marsh Institute research proposal/Foundation on the future
7:15
a.m. My ideas for regional data are all so clear to me. The work required, the
product. Then – building of the use.
Data should be as common as dirt. A Consumer Reports of geography which allows
comparison, bench-marking, that allows more objective investment and the raising
of people out of poverty through education. Empowerment gained through
Knowledge acquired through information. The trend of the trend. It is not just
the data, but many people using the same data which creates synchronistic benefits.
The data Legos – with me – a Lego myself.
Here
I sit – all vision – no market, no client, no visible partners – no energy or
strategy. I need to cultivate some champions – find investors. My relationships
interfere – distract, I self-distract, derail – lose hope – I need a data cave.
I don't have all the technical skills to pull it off.
The
public web could be put to better use. A lot of what is up there is junk. I
cannot leave the NSV – this is where my investment is. I need to do the
Planner's Casebook –
Quad
state regions database. It will be a tool for SU.
7:55
a.m. A Town of Front Royal truck goes by – Sunday a.m. Trash bags in the back –
community is good at getting things done – we need the intentional communities.
We need to build intentional regions. As networks they have agendas. The region
must be visible. It must be defined. Local government based regions – require a
database. That geographic alignment can serve others.
The
secret to the business is 0PM – other people's money. The same can be said for
geography – use OPG – use the intentional local governments aggregated by the
intentional regions > and encourage the local governments to be more
intentional within the regions, as part of a more intentional planet.
S2K
– is it a fantasy itself? It's been a useful tool at this point in my life. My
lethargic body genes – as exemplified by Grandpa C, Dad – and myself –
Tai
Chi was in my dream – groups practicing on a basketball court.
I
need to be with my spiritual community today.
Use
the web for regional communications.
RIMBY
– Regions are my backyard. Building my team… – Atlas of regions – A/the new
geography.
In
order to get there, the PDC must stabilize – I need to work the PDC/Front Royal
link/model – use a 100 year time frame – connect growth/geography/
S2K
– talks about deepest inclinations for "hope, truth and justice." A
dream last night involved the woman who came to me with well/water data that
showed pollution. I told her to come to the office – I thought I could get
funds under "environmental justice."
The
PDC is a tool that needs to self direct. It responds to the incentives created
by others who have a statewide agenda that they need to promote efficiently.
That is the administrative region – localities can use the same to cooperate
upward – to be empowered.
Regional
structure – supporting regional intelligence a geographic strategy –
3:55
p.m. Back from The Lord's Chapel – OK – some spirit – people who I benefit from
being with – do I need that community? Yes – ideas come slowly –
Baghwa
Singh – talk about his cancer. Brian – about his heart problems – me sitting
there; would my having an illness caused people to like me, excuse me?
"As
though a disease could free me from my responsibility, my obligation to do what
I've come to do." I do not understand, yet proceed.
7:55
p.m. Breathing ups energy – food brings it down.
9:15
p.m. I just don't seem to fit here on the planet. I'm to trust my deepest
inclinations today. Not fitting is one of them – thus I've been cautious. I
could disappear – spontaneously combust – but then I'd miss my mission.
Breathing could keep me oxygenated – I've stretching & breathing – tools
yes, inclinations yes – is it patience or lethargy? I judge myself by the world
– and fall very far short
Can
I truly love myself? I know I should…but can I? Would I pick myself first on my
own team? The ambivalence seems to get greater instead of less.
In
your giving – you remind the world of hope – do I give – give enough? Does the
world want or appreciate what I give? Do I know?
Practice
#2 – Going to stillness in openness – seeking relief from my doubt, seeking
comfort for my aloneness, seeking power to do my work, and certainty about my
purpose in the world.
This
is to be a day of self – trust…
(What
is there to trust?)
I
trust myself to be late, short and hugely creative – enough to make up for and
surpass all my shortcomings.
I
have become a minimalist – after running full tilt so many years at the PDC –
Less
is less – the world moves ahead, I sit back – where is the pattern – where is
the next step. Lines in the sand have been crossed.
This was a long story. I hope you’ve benefitted. Let
us continue.
NNC
Journal second time x2
Step 316. This is for those who have completed
Steps once. Doing Steps with only the texts, messages and your life experience,
including what you may have studied and practiced is your journey. I’m showing
Step comments after the Step, so as not to influence you in advance. It is a
wilderness trek to be left to your own wits, but then you can also listen more
closely for guides, angels and teachers, always first saying: “I surround and
protect myself with the Love and the Grace of God.” Thankfully, I was taught
this practice in 1989.
P.S. If you’ve some interest due to this or other
Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge
and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can
use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in
order in the archives - one post per Step.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps
once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference
how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide
a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One
may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps
students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as
a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well
through the Free School of the New Message.
