Greetings All –
SEEKING FREEDOM FROM UNCERTAINTY means that you are seeking
freedom that is genuine, that is real and that truly deserves the name of
freedom. In essence, you either know what you are doing or you do not. If you
do not know what you are doing, you simply wait for Knowledge. If you know what
you are doing, you simply follow what you know. It is that simple. Unnecessary speculation,
the attempt to make premature decisions based upon fear or preference, the
requirement that you have the certainty that you lack and the projection of
blame upon yourself and others for the failures of your weak decision making
are what have taxed your mind, your body and your world. It is this you wish to
escape today so that you may find the freedom in the certainty that God has
given you. It is this certainty you must discover and follow. By following this
you will reap all of its rewards and will become a contributor of these rewards
in the world.
UPON THE HOUR REMEMBER TODAY’S IDEA and see its
complete relevancy to the world about you. In your deeper practice periods,
give yourself to stillness. Give yourself to this encounter with Knowledge. Give
yourself completely and let neither ambivalence nor uncertainty hold you back. In this, you will exercise the
strength of Knowledge by following Knowledge, and in time you will become as
strong as Knowledge truly is. Therefore, today seek to escape uncertainty and
all that accompanies it. For this has destroyed the inspiration of humankind
and has led humankind to war upon itself and the world.
PRACTICE 275: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly
practice.
Ambivalence was the topic of this Step. I did think
about it quite a bit and wrote this in the Steps book.
- If
lack of ambivalence is the criteria, then I’m in the minority. Everyone else
seems to Know exactly what they want – and move forward with certainty.
-
Going with the flow – doing the next thing in front of me; no choice – simply act,
act, act – is that the freedom from ambivalence? -
The
problem of “knowing what to do” had been with me a good portion of my life.
Those around me seemed well directed, pursuing what they thought important. I
didn’t necessarily agree, but they were moving – I wasn’t sure that I was.
From the Journal:
6:56
a.m. Sunday, April 16, 2000 – I have to make sense out of what I know. That
will take time.
7:21
a.m. "I seek freedom from ambivalence today." This is certainly a
need. I churn my mind often. At the same time I've been able to act with
meaning, direction, and purpose. It isn't always acceptable to the world.
Confusion and ambivalence abound. It wasn't that long ago that I decided to
stay here. ACIM said when death is the answer, you go is involved.
Relative
to regions work – it is not time to act – I need more preparation, more
development of the ideas. So – I'll take time to do that and build a corporate
database.
8:41
a.m. Completed Practice one. It took time to get to stillness. Ambivalence
& confusion – 40 days in the desert – over and over again.
>
Neighbors and Peers analysis.
-
Local region/Comparative Regions
Regional
benchmarking
Regions
Work – a new approach to regional cooperation for local and state governments.
→ One citizen –
→ There's only
one taxpayer –
- Citizens
demand wholeness
- and
an end to local fragmentation.
Where
is my ambivalence?
9:20
a.m. ACIM also promised HS [Holy Spirit] direction. It
guided me for a long time – but it was not the total answer – at least it
didn't seem so.
ACIM S2K
Illusion =
Fantasy
Following
ACIM I recognized myself as an unhealed healer, seeking to be a teacher of God.
We are always teaching –
ACIM
came through the voice of Jesus. It is complex, detailed – metaphysical.
[Note
entered] 4:26 p.m. 4/22/2000 – Absorbing all of this understanding –
experiencing this understanding – here at the beach, on a plastic bench – all
the power of the universe runs through me – in knowing direct communication
with holy spirit. It is profound in a commonplace.
Meaning,
Direction, Purpose – if I have these things, why do I remain ambivalent?
ACIM
– CH 1 – Principles of Miracles –
46.
"The Holy Spirit is the highest communication medium. Miracles do not
involve this type of communication, because they are temporary communication
devices. When you return to your original form of communication with God by
direct revelation, the need for miracles is over." p. 4
The
answer is easily and quickly found – Knowledge is the next step – the final
step, Direct communication.
---
4 p.m.
How am I being ambivalent?
11:41
p.m. I've been contemplating ambivalence all day – trying to understand in what
respect I can become free from it. I have been ambivalent about life and in my
life, but I've come to not fear many things as a result of my spiritual work.
The clear relationship for me of ACIM to S2K that I found today was freeing.
Out
on the porch, with the rain nicely dripping down – I decided that the only
ambivalence I can change is that toward Knowledge – Holy Spirit. So – I choose
to receive all from Knowledge that I can – and act on Knowledge –
Amen & Amen
This
remains an interesting Step. The last thing a Student would want is to be “ambivalent,”
but how can we be sure that is not the case, at least some of the time?
I
am again thinking of A Course in Miracles (ACIM) this day and working to
reconcile that with Steps. Steps meets the need for the “Illusion management”
skills that we require in the temporary world we inhabit. While this world may
be an illusion, it never seemed to me to be possible for my mind alone to have
created it. I could change my mind, but the illusion was still there, even if I
did not participate.
Let
us continue.
NNC
P.S. At Step 275, we are into Part Two of Steps, so
if you’ve found this and find some appeal in this or other Steps, you should
really go to the beginning blog post. From here you learn about Steps to Knowledge and
can begin it on the day that makes sense and then progress as needed. You can
use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in
order in the archives - one per Step.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps
once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference
how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide
a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One
may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps
students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as
a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well
through the Free School of the New Message.
