Step 184 - My questions are greater than I had realized before. Entry for Step 183 - I seek experience not answers.

Greetings All –

WHAT YOU ARE REALLY ASKING FOR is far greater than what you have entertained before. Though your questions may have arisen out of immediate circumstances, you are asking for far more than immediate resolution to immediate things. Immediate resolution will be given, but from a Greater Source. It is this Greater Source that you are seeking, for you are seeking to realize your nature here, and you are seeking to find the preparation that will enable you to contribute your gifts so that your work in the world may be complete. Therefore, understand that you are here to serve. You are here to give. And in so doing, you will find your fulfillment. This will produce happiness for you.

IN YOUR TWO LONGER PRACTICE PERIODS TODAY, once again enter into stillness and silence, keeping in mind that stillness cultivates the mind to receive. In stillness you find that things are known already that you have neglected thus far. From these practice periods your mind will become more refined and have greater depth, greater concentration and a greater focus in all aspects of your life.

WHAT YOU ARE SEEKING TODAY is something greater than you have considered before. You are seeking to know the meaning of your Knowledge through its demonstration.

PRACTICE 184: Two 30-minute practice periods.

From the Journal:

8:25 A.M. Sunday, Jan 16 – up – yet sleepy – a deep night. This world is where I am. It is where my consciousness is focused in manifestation. It is not a dream, it is not entirely an illusion, it is an aspect of the creation. Maintaining contact – feedback with the Creator is important to make the experience worthy of the energy utilized.

GCWK is a method of increasing the level of connection so that one’s role in the manifestation can be more effective. The Spiritual Efficiency Act (SEA) or something like that.

GCWK is technique for connection. It does not tell me what to do. It is affirming the connection I already have built, stripping some of the metaphysics which cloud the process.

I’m anxious to get on to part two. In the pillars work I see where I’ve let myself become depressed bout the work of life and let it slide. This occurs/has occurred when relationships have gone south or were never adequately established. It has also occurred when my expectations were too high and I’ve been too focused on my work. ACIM and all my readings contribute, but only GCWK gives a path w/o being overly prescriptive.  

I am responsible and I have help. I am not alone. I’ve felt alone and reached out to God, to Christ and have gotten what I need. All life is risk management I’ve intuited. I’ve lived  very risky life as PDC director. Very few can appreciate it – but this has been and will continue to be an area where I seek to contribute.

Achieving balance is the challenge now – jettisoning undoable ideas – parking them where they are available, but not taking daily energy. Building staff capability – that makes me cry … for I’ve made mistakes of a nature that I don’t understand. Too much faith in people?

LTWOK p. 38 – The promise “…you will be able to do what you know.”
12:47 p.m. At the trail – in my car. I’ll eat lunch, meditate, then hike. This book shall be completed – then another will begin. I’m not quite awake – don’t know why.

1:15 p.m. What do I need; what do I know? I need the PDC job more than the money because it is a platform for learning and teaching. I must understand why it is working here better than other areas, to understand – abstrackt knowledge for theory in order to promote. I need money for my children and to support my travels. I’ll need money to spread the word and to support GCWK.

1:22 p.m. I’m also lately in a zombie sense. Overdue for practice #1 today. I’ve all the pieces – just need to get the entrainment I need to be the leader who is facilitator.

How can people know what needs to be done when they don’t have a greater view. It’s that things don’t feel right.

[New journal composition book]

2:32 p.m. Jan 16, 2000 – Where am I? I am sitting above Su-Ne. It is a windy cool January day. I’ve done practice 183 – “I seek experience not answers.” This is the area of my first HI [Holy Instant] – that is to me the connectin with Knowledge. I know work in the field of cooperation is important. It is an area where I can continue to contribute. We humans must better manage our settlements. There’s been waste on a large scale. Still there is a great resilience. More souls are coming – we must make sure they will have lunch. We need to utilize better the value that has been created. S2K often seems harsh – a Puritan ethic of sorts. The detail of my life – OK – move to work.

I lay curled up on the rock. The wind blows. I am still. People pass on the path. I hear voices – see them through the grey winter trunks of trees on the path across the stream. The sun sparkles – edging lower in the sky. Clouds pushed by the wind speed across the blue, blue sky. Airplanes overhead – Dulles airport is near – and car and truck motors from the highways.

I am content here in the winter woods. I’d be ok as a tree, a rock, a leaf. This is pure nature. Lean and bare for winter. I could sleep here forever if that were my life form’s process. I could be that. I read once of a lone alien who had been separated from his family after a crash. For several hundred years he lived on a rock among the moss before venturing on to another venue.

I have office work – PDC work to do. That is important. In the funky years I lost momentum. I need to consolidate around the do-able. I know that to be water, transportation, dates, GIS and mapping and facilitation of discussion about our continued settlement of this earth.

3:06 p.m. And another experience of being present with knowledge ends so that I might continue about the Creator’s work. Open eyed pure being with no agenda, no need, no fear, no action, - all sense -  pure and still. The woods from where I looked because a still life so I understand what a “still life” portrait is – stopping the world – showing Knowledge. Continuous stillness is not the goal – for I am here to work – but the connection affirms – and is an unbelievable joy.

Amen & Amen
T-om at Su-Ne    

3:40 p.m. At the office – I need to integrate the experience I am having with Knowledge so I can bring it more into the world. As I walked out of the woods I felt a great responsibility. In my daily work I am faced with a tremendous backlog of work.

I need a flushing out and simplifying – somehow. I have a foundation. I must continue to make progress.

4:42 p.m.  Vision is so easy – work is so hard. Is that my lesson? People want to do their part to the exclusion of others – and be off to be free. I don’t have that luxury.

Another day of long journal entries. I include most of it as an example of how I am changing as a consequence of applying the lessons of Steps and Knowledge in my life. Henry David Thoreau was and is one of my favorite writers. When I read him in my college sophomore American Literature classes, I recognized someone who thought like me. He was a transcendentalist and I felt I was as well. I fell into that sense in the woods that day and very often do that to this day.

Also note I’m already thinking about financial support for GCWOK. Your pace may be different, but that is likely to be true of any student who undertakes the Steps to Knowledge.


P.S. At Step 184, we are into Part Two of Steps, so if you’ve found this and find some appeal in this or other Steps, you should really go to the beginning blog post. From here you learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense and then progress as needed.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message