Step 243 - I do not need to be special to give. Entry for Step 242 - My greatest gift to the world is my Knowledge.

Greetings All –

Step 243 - I do not need to be special to give.

THE ATTEMPT TO BE SPECIAL UNDERLIES ALL HUMAN AMBITION. All human ambition that is not born of Knowledge is born of the attempt to offset the grave disappointment and great anxiety of separation. The attempt to be special is the attempt to fortify separation. It is the attempt to make yourself greater at the expense of others. It always denies life and Knowledge and always leads to greater confusion, frustration and despair.

YOU ARE FREED THIS DAY FROM ATTEMPTING to make yourself special, for in this way you will find the true relief that you have sought in all of your previous endeavors. What is special in you is your unique form of expression of that which is inherent in all life. Then, that which joins life and is life is affirmed. Your individuality is affirmed as well, but not to the exclusion of the value of any other expression of life. Here you are not special. You are simply you. You are greater than an individual because you are part of life, and yet you are an individual because you express life individually. Here all conflict and confusion end. That which is limited expresses that which is unlimited, and that which is unique expresses that which is inherent and intrinsic. This is the resolution that you seek, for you do not really wish to be special. You only wish to have your individual life have purpose, meaning and direction.

UPON THE HOUR THINK OF THIS after you repeat the idea for today. In your deeper practices, enter into stillness and peace once again. Do not petition for answers because you do not need to do this in your meditation practices. Your time now is to practice receiving Knowledge, in which your individuality is honored and confirmed for its true purpose and in which your specialness, which has only been a grave and impossible burden for you, is gently lifted from your shoulders. Do not seek to be special today, for that is not the purpose of your life. Then, all fear of death and destruction will leave you. Then, all judgment and comparison with others will leave you. Then, you will be able to honor life and honor your relationships, which  are an expression of everything today’s lesson will teach you.

PRACTICE 243: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

Yesterday:  Step 242 - My greatest gift to the world is my Knowledge.

The more one understands Knowledge, the more this Step means. Over years, understanding grows with practice and experience. A few thoughts in the Journal:

6:29 a.m. Wednesday, March 15, 2000 –

Be still and Know – all of S2K is in the Bible. I choose to connect to Knowledge and use it instead of an anger producing response in the world.

7:50 a.m. I have long recognized the wealth that is present and available in my life. To give it away – making people aware of it.

All of S2K is not in the Bible, but its roots can be recognized in Christianity, Judaism and other world religions. “Be still and Know that I am God” is a phrase that stuck with me.

The Steps page has many underlines and finishes with “Amen.” My top thought: "I hire gifted people and their job is to give." An expression of idealism perhaps? Those that worked at the Commission wanted to fix the world. Idealists maybe don’t work well together. Whose idealism leads?

 

 Let us continue.

NNC

 

P.S. At Step 243, we are into Part Two of Steps, so if you’ve found this and find some appeal in this or other Steps, you should really go to the beginning blog post. From here you learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense and then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message. 

Step 242 - My greatest gift to the world is my Knowledge. Entry for Step 241 - My anger is unjustified.

Greetings All –

Step 242 - My greatest gift to the world is my Knowledge.

THIS IS YOUR GREATEST GIFT. It is the gift that imbues all other giving and gives it meaning. This is the gift that gives value to all human expression, all human endeavor and all human invention that is intended to support the well-being of humanity in its evolution. Knowledge is not something that you can quantify and give, as if you put it into a package or delineate it with your ideas. It is a presence and a quality of life that is the very essence of life. It makes all giving and contribution meaningful.

THIS IS YOUR GREATEST GIFT, which you are now learning to receive. As you receive it, it will give itself naturally, for you cannot keep Knowledge for yourself. Once it emerges, it begins to express itself in all directions and specifically in certain directions and in certain involvements with certain people according to its design and Wisdom. Thus, if you receive Knowledge, it must be given. It will give itself, and you will want to give it because you possess wealth, and wealth can only be increased through giving. Thus, in essence, life is all about the giving of Knowledge. Wherever this giving cannot be accomplished, there is all manner of deception, disappointment and despair. But when giving is reactivated in these circumstances, these qualities of denial will be dispelled, and Knowledge will once again begin to express itself in very specific ways.

THEREFORE, UPON THE HOUR remind yourself of this great truth, and in your deeper meditations allow yourself to experience Knowledge. Allow yourself to receive it. Give yourself to this application of your mind and your body. In this, Knowledge will give itself, and you will be fulfilled because you have given life the greatest gift that can be given.

PRACTICE 242: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

Today is August 29, 2014. In my Outlook calendar I have an important anniversary noted: “Beginning Student of Knowledge since this day in 1998 – Reading Greater Community Spirituality – Started S2K later on June 27, 1999.”  

At some point, you might record similar dates in your life for annual celebration. Though I come quite a distance, a far greater journey lies ahead. In my years of study I’ve seen students come and go. Many had great commitment and desire to act, but over time, were never seen again. It does take persistence, as it proves to be difficult for others who seek, but are not open to this message.

Yesterday:  Step 241 - My anger is unjustified.

Like many aspects of human life, Steps gives a unique perspective on things we may think we understand. The Step says: “Here you will realize that your anger is something to be understood. It is not to be rejected, for if you reject anger, you also reject the seed of anger, which is true communication.”  

From the Journal:

10:43 p.m. Tuesday, March 14, 2000 – Tomorrow the Ides of March. Meetings in Winchester for their Downtown consultant selection 9-12 – then to 4-H for 1 – 3 p.m. Housing Workshop #2. Pam and Helen gone – no problem. Then back to office and over to Strasburg Rotary to speak on the water issues. Then to office to prepare for MIF tomorrow. I didn't get to see Sarah all day.

Now to do the practice for 241 "My anger is unjustified." I read it in the a.m. and followed it through the day. It treats anger as reflective of a true emotion – but anger itself a response when there is a failure to apply Knowledge. Anger, as a response, can generate anger in others.

The text says> "Knowledge…will redirect anger so that it has no destructive qualities,…"

Anger is not justified because it is born of confusion.

…your anger is something to be understood. It is not to be rejected, for if you reject anger, you also reject the seed of anger, which is true communication.

The practice is to look at everything that I am angry about, those things that upset and discourage me – this is my inventory of anger:

My greatest anger is with the relationships with women – ---

Lloyd is to be pitied – and as the deliverer of hard lessons to Sarah – someone to pity – rage against.

I'm irritated by others expectations – and I don't know how to be different. Just now Cindy saying I don't smile enough.

I'm doing my work – the work as best I can.

What is the tool/mental trick that gets to the core idea?

– I've had a "nerv-ecktomy" – I don't react or over-react any proposal.

– The GC perspective takes some of the sting out of anger – why be mad?

I'm forgiving of the Exec/Pers Committee – even as they make it a hardship.

I've always held my anger back – anger about the violation of others, or myself. I've suffered little in this life.

– I'm angry that the attitudes of others hurt them so much, and they can't see it. I'm frustrated, but they are really hurt.

It could be I over-react, but I offer good – and it is taken as bad. The message of cooperate is battered by ego – and the retaliation against "men" –

As I read my inventory – I remind myself that these angers are unjustified – I must find the seed of true communication in each.

Over time, through shocks, I’d become good at taking shocks and not reacting. Being Stoic had been a practice of mine. I mention "nerv-ecktomy," as a reason for not being reactive. Later in life, when my mother would tell me not to worry, I’d respond: “My worry circuits have been burned out.”

According to Wikipedia, Groups that need anger management are:

8.1 People with violent backgrounds

8.2 People with intellectual disabilities

8.3 Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) individuals

8.4 People with traumatic brain injuries

8.5 Bullies

8.6 Substance abusers

Still, some small correlation to the Steps approach can be seen in Some Basics: A goal is to lead an anger-free life.^[3] Anger is an emotion the person feeling it can respond to.^[4] People get into trouble because they don't know enough to keep their cool.^[5] They can learn to respond to their anger as unwanted rather than react to its cause.^[5] Forgiveness is a tool to turn anger off.^[5] Getting enough sleep is a tool for preventing anger.^[6] Professionals who deal with those who have trouble managing anger include mental health counselors, psychologists and psychiatrists.^[7]

The Steps understanding of anger is helpful. Other tools are to be presented. I am more honest today, but there are still things I need to put into practice. This may help you manage hot-buttons when they get pushed. No guarantee that button-pushers are out of your life completely. Let us continue.

NNC

P.S. At Step 242, we are into Part Two of Steps, so if you’ve found this and find some appeal in this or other Steps, you should really go to the beginning blog post. From here you learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense and then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message. 

Step 241 - My anger is unjustified. Entry for Step 240 - Small ideas cannot fulfill my need for Knowledge.

Greetings All –

Step 241 - My anger is unjustified.

ANGER IS UNJUSTIFIED, FOR ANGER ALONE is merely your response to your failure to apply Knowledge. This engenders anger at its very source. But this need not happen, because anger is a response. As a response it can generate anger in others and stimulate a violent response internally and externally wherever it is applied. Knowledge, however, will redirect anger so that it has no destructive qualities, for what you wish to express is that which fortifies Knowledge in others. It is the strength of your conviction and not your desire to hurt yourself or others that is the true efficacy of the emotion that is the core of anger. Thus, it may be said that your anger is a true communication that has been distorted by your own projections of blame and fear. Once these distortions have been cleared away, the true communication that is the seed of all anger can be expressed. This can only bring about good.

ANGER, THEN, IS NOT JUSTIFIED, for it is a misinterpretation of a true communication. Your anger is not justified because anger is born of confusion. Yet, confusion calls for preparation and the true application of Knowledge. Therefore, the sinful are not punished but are attended to. The wicked are not sent to hell but are  prepared for Heaven. This is the true nature of God’s purpose in the world. That is why God can never be angry, because God is not offended. God is merely applying God to a situation where God has temporarily been forgotten.

IN THE GREATER SCOPE OF THINGS, even the separation of all individual minds is a very temporary occurrence. You cannot think yet at this level and will not be able to do so for a long time, for you must undergo the various stages of development that integrate your mind into greater and greater experiences of relationship and life. But as you proceed and as you take each vital step that expands your horizons, you will begin to understand that anger is unjustified. It merely represents a failure to apply Knowledge in a particular situation. This calls for remedy not for condemnation. Here you will realize that your anger is something to be understood. It is not to be  rejected, for if you reject anger, you also reject the seed of anger, which is true communication. Therefore, we wish to clean away that which has spoiled your true  communication so that your true communication may shine forth, for true communication always comes from Knowledge.

THINK OF THIS IDEA UPON THE HOUR. In your deeper practice periods, actively engage your mind in looking at every single thing that you are angry about, from very tiny things that are specific to things in general that upset or discourage you. Remind yourself as you review your inventory of anger that your anger is unjustified. Remind yourself that it calls for the application of Knowledge and that within each angry experience or feeling that you have, there is a seed which is true. Therefore, your anger need not be rejected but cleansed, for in cleansing your anger you will be able to communicate that which you intended to communicate in the beginning where you initially failed. Then your self-expression will be complete, and anger will be no more.

PRACTICE 241: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

Yesterday:  Step 240 - Small ideas cannot fulfill my need for Knowledge.

This was a challenging Step. In the material it says: “It requires Knowledge to follow Knowledge. It requires Knowledge to prepare for Knowledge. Thus, Knowledge is exercised even as you approach it.” That I underlined on the Steps page.

I also wonder, relative to: “As your mind becomes more simple and open, it will become a vehicle for Knowledge to express itself in the world.”  

And write in green ink: “What shall happen – "

Comments from later Steps practices appear in other colored ink, sometimes dated.

From the Journal:

7:50 am. Monday, March 13, 2000 – Life is life, lives go on. Today’s practice says fantastic images can't sustain us. Last night I had a fantastic image. Neither will ideas sustain us.

> Political boundaries – settlement patterns – and overlay on the natural geography. Political geography →

> Sarah said she didn't like working at the vet because of the killing of pets. Not old animals that were sick – but pet's people just didn't want.

11:55 p.m. quite a day – Tuesday even more busy.

The journal recordings are short and don’t add much to the S2K story, but more reflect my life. The next practice, "Step 241 - My anger is unjustified," will take some energy.   

NNC

P.S. At Step 241, we are into Part Two of Steps, so if you’ve found this and find some appeal in this or other Steps, you should really go to the beginning blog post. From here you learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense and then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.