Step 214 - I do not understand myself. Entry for Step 213 - I do not understand the world.

Greetings All –

THIS IS NOT A STATEMENT OF FAILURE OR LIMITATION. It is simply a statement to liberate you from your own impediments. How can you possibly understand yourself if Knowledge is not revealing all things to you? How can you possibly understand the world when Knowledge is not revealing the world to you? This is pure experience, beyond all concepts and beliefs, for concepts and beliefs can only follow the experience and attempt to provide a structure where the experience can arise again. In no way can beliefs, assumptions or ideas possibly imitate Knowledge itself.

OF COURSE YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOURSELF or the world, for you only understand your ideas, and they are not eternal. Therefore, they cannot provide a solid foundation upon which you must learn to stand. Thus, they can only fail and deceive you if you rely upon them instead of Knowledge to reveal yourself and the world to you.

UPON THE HOUR REMIND YOURSELF that you do not understand yourself. Free yourself from the burden of justifying your own judgments. Look upon yourself in your deeper meditation practices and remind yourself that you do not understand yourself. Now you are free to enter into stillness, for you are not attempting to use your experience to justify your fantasies about yourself. Here your mind becomes free to be itself, and you become free to appreciate yourself.

PRACTICE 214: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

This Step maybe the easiest to agree with, followed perhaps by today’s Step “I do not understand myself.” For me, in many years preceding finding Greater Community Spirituality, the focus for understanding the world became “communities” and the notes from this journal confirm that.  

From the Journal:

12:10 a.m. Monday, February 14, 2000 – Valentine’s Day. What life is this? Regions w/o reference. On the radio – in advertising text – a reference region with no qualifier. – At mid – Atlantic – where?

But that's not why I write tonight. It is to note that I sent M.E. an email suggesting she seek forgiveness of Sarah.

6:15 a.m. It is all community. The Town of Front Royal – I saw last night – arriving home from work – to be the universal microcosm. Just as FR is a community – with various communities interacting – so is the universe – a community of communities, made of families.

This being the case – my view has shifted – and being is a relative truth, a manifesting relationship.

There are many models – Urantia might be close. Cosmic community building for me, the trip through the stars.

Step 213 “I do not understand the world.”

The arrow that is my life soul threads the needle of existence.

The Work System

First time through, this was underlined: “You cannot be in the world without beliefs or assumptions. Yet, your beliefs and assumptions are meant to be tools to serve your mind, to give it a temporary structure and to allow it to engage its natural abilities in a positive manner.” 

Later, I write about this: “An operating system,” then 7/21/09, “We begin with a simple, often bad map – but it doesn’t match experience, so we look for, build a better one.”  This has become an important perspective to me, which I’ve expanded. That will be shared later.


P.S. At Step 214, we are into Part Two of Steps, so if you’ve found this and find some appeal in this or other Steps, you should really go to the beginning blog post. From here you learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense and then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message