YOUR SUFFERING IS BORN OF CONFUSION. Allow yourself
to be confused so that you may recognize the true path of reclamation. Is this
idea confusing to you? It may be confusing because people will not accept their
confusion. They will tell lies about it, saying they are certain when they are
confused, projecting blame upon others to excuse themselves or projecting blame
upon themselves to excuse others. All of this represents confusion.
WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOU ARE CONFUSED, then you
can claim the means to regain your certainty. If you do not accept that you are
confused, you will impose substitutes for certainty upon yourself and the world
and thus remove yourself from the possibility of receiving your certainty. This
is why you must realize that your confusion is the source of your suffering,
and you must allow yourself to be confused to recognize your true predicament. Recognizing your true predicament, you will
see the great need for Knowledge, and this will engender in you the dedication
and the self-application that is necessary for you to receive that which is
your inheritance.
TODAY REPEAT THIS IDEA UPON THE HOUR and do not
forget to do so. In your two longer practice periods, engage your mind actively
in attempting to understand the depth and the meaning of today’s idea. Recognize
objectively all of the feelings and the thoughts that are in favor of it and
all of the feelings and the thoughts that are opposed to it. Take special care
to recognize any objection that you might have to today’s idea. Then, recognize
the power of this idea within your own mind. This will give you a recognition
of today’s idea and its true meaning. This will also help enable you to realize objectively
the current construction of your mind. This is all part of your education as a
student of Knowledge. Give yourself to considering today’s idea and do not be
complacent with simple answers and explanations, for today’s idea contains a
gift you have not yet experienced.
PRACTICE 230: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly
practice.
Stateside? Time to get a supply of composition
books for journals. The fancy ones are nice, here’s an Amazon
selection, but at $5 to $10+ a copy, that is a big cost when journaling for
the rest of your life. Here’s the Staples option for everyday writing:
It is OK to have a special or topical journal, but
over time, I’ve moved to a single journal, even as it relates to taking notes
at conferences. Journaling is a way to
capture messages and thoughts of/for one’s soul.
This is a difficult Step. In the journal entry I
refer to ACIM and on the Steps page to RUOW.
That: “The
pain that hurts you is the crown of thorns of your own ideas and assumptions,
your own misgivings and misinformation and your own unforgiveness towards
yourself and the world,” has taken me
until this year, 2014 to understand. It might have come sooner, had I given it
more thought, but I did not.
The mocking of Jesus as the King of the Jews with
the crown of thorns, symbolic of a nonexistent worldly kingdom, really meant
nothing to The Christ, that spiritual quality one can achieve that ends the
separation.
We are invited by most forms of Christianity to take on the burden
of Jesus, take responsibility for his treatment - this an unforgiveness for sure, but a guilt that seems valid. We probably would have done the same thing. So, effectively - I was putting on the crown of
thorns. It seems similar to taking up the cross, today the burden of the messenger, but really: "unforgiveness towards
yourself and the world." Depending upon your background, this part may not draw your attention the first time through.
From the Journal:
7:15
a.m. → Wednesday,
March 1, 2000 – Where am I? "I will not blame another for my pain."
Work pain – how/what is the solution?
A
strange feeling day. I was wakened by the alarm. Came downstairs. The squat
while rewinding the VCR helps get the blood flowing. That seems to be a primal
position – it isn't exercise, but seems to help in limberness.
My
stillness for the S2K "I will not blame another for my pain." Is good
old ACIM. I'm faced with the issue of my pain because of a failure to perform.
It is an old – seemingly hard issue – that I've yet to learn how to deal with.
Letting go has only led to more independence than obstinance. M--- is here now 15 years and she still has the
weaknesses she started out with. Her strengths don't fill the day.
1:52
p.m. at Arby's for lunch. Resolved M---‘s leave issue this noon – with
adjustments to the timesheets – we have a long way to go – GC or not – to do
the earth job here.
11:10
p.m. An interesting day. Tomorrow more "Just in time’s to do." –
Spoke to Sarah. Her mind is expanding. B[her birth mother] will talk to her,
but first she must write a letter.
Forgiveness of others is a tenant of Christianity
and most world religions; it is also one of A Course in Miracles. Easily
advocated, but difficult in fact to achieve. Something to work on.
Steps page:
RUOW – Right Use of Will is essentially a
psycho-drama of creation, a dysfunctional first family where creation was a
sexual product of creator personalities who didn’t know what they were doing, immature
beings having birthed beings, and expressing guilt for not knowing what they
were doing. Entertaining creation story with spiritual insight, but there is no forward path of practices to help one live in the world of today, preparing for tomorrows, near and far.
Sidetracked today perhaps, but such territory is
part of one’s life-scape. All things work together for good.
NNC
P.S. At Step 230, we are into Part Two of Steps, so
if you’ve found this and find some appeal in this or other Steps, you should
really go to the beginning blog post. From here you learn about Steps to Knowledge and
can begin it on the day that makes sense and then progress as needed. You can
use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in
order in the archives - one per Step.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps
once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference
how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide
a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One
may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps
students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as
a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well
through the Free School of the New Message.
