Step 104 - God knows more about me than I do. Entry for Step 103 - I am honored by God.

Greetings All –

GOD DOES KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU THAN YOU DO. That must be obvious if you have considered yourself honestly. And yet, consider the implications of this. If God knows more about you than you do, then would not God’s evaluation be something that you would want to learn to investigate? Of course it would. And would not your evaluations of yourself be necessarily in error? In this alone you have sinned, for sin is only error. Error calls for correction, not condemnation. You would condemn yourself and think that God would then follow your example and render to you a greater condemnation. That is why people have made God in their image, and that is why you must unlearn what you have made, so that you may find what you know and so that your creations in this world may be for good and have lasting value.

GOD KNOWS MORE ABOUT YOU THAN YOU DO. Do not pretend you can create yourself, for you have already been created and that which has been genuinely created is far greater and happier than the life that you have realized thus far. It is your unhappiness that is bringing you to truth, for it is driving you to a genuine resolution. This, of course, is true.

ON THE HOUR REPEAT THIS STATEMENT and consider it seriously. As you do so, observe the world around you in order to attempt to learn of the meaning of today’s idea in the world. In your longer practice sessions in stillness, allow your mind to become quiet so that it
may learn to enjoy its greatness. Give it this opportunity for freedom, and it will give freedom to you in return.

PRACTICE 104: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

From the Journal:

12:40 A.M. Thursday, October 28, 1999 –
I have a great vision for the earth that I wish to give. It may be simplistic – given the people that run the show. …

7:54 A.M. Alignment – a master concept. I’m having trouble here staying in body. I want to go home – but my babies have to come too. They can’t/won’t for they have their own lives here.

Align – grow – realign – grow align – change – realign-
>Time to actively seek a new/different job where I can carry on my learning.

Infrastructure is treated like dirt, like it’s always been there. The regional alignment strategy can simplify the realignment process.

Awareness – but no joy. S2K- “I am honored by God.” But the portion/aspect of me being honored – I do not know.

Again the head lightens and there is the desire to leave the body and its work behind.  
8:40 p.m. Ready to mediate. The world is looking different these days. At 53 I wonder if I thought I’d live this long and how boring things could get, and how much change is behind me. I observe the growth of the Valley. I’ve played a part, but that part is invisible. I’m not even certain what it is.

Today’s focus, “I am honored by God,” is not for me alone – it must be true for all. In Food Lion – parents with young children fussing – I’m irritated slightly – but know I was once there and wonder how people looked at me, how they felt, if the judged. So many people going about their lives. Me removed – looking – watching.

Much was written, but what does it have to do with the Step? Good question. Our lives proceed and the brain can work very hard to figure things out, and be mistaken in doing so. Once again, the Step page has much green ink and is also the journal for the day.