Step 152 - I will not follow fear within the world. Entry for Step 151 - I will not use fear to support my judgments.

Greetings All –

HUMANITY IS GOVERNED BY WAVES OF FEAR that draw people here and there, waves of fear that dominate their actions, their thinking, their conclusions, their beliefs and their assumptions. Do not follow the waves of fear that move across the world. Instead, remain steadfast and still in Knowledge. Allow yourself to observe the world from this point of stillness and certainty. Do not be swayed by the waves of fear. In this way, you will be able to  contribute to the world and not be its victim only. You are here to give, not to judge, and in stillness you are without judgment upon the world. Recognize, then, the waves of fear, but do not let them touch you, for in Knowledge they cannot touch you because Knowledge is beyond all fear.

REPEAT YOUR IDEA FOR THE DAY UPON THE HOUR, and consider it in light of all that you experience today. In your two longer practice periods, apply your mind actively in attempting to understand today’s lesson. Again, this is a form of mental application. We shall not practice stillness and mental silence today but mental application so that you may learn to think constructively. For when your mind is not still, it should be thinking constructively. It should be investigating. Do not rely upon early conclusions. Do not rely upon self-comforting ideas. Allow yourself to be vulnerable today, for you are only vulnerable to Knowledge. Yet, Knowledge will shield you from all things of harm within this world and will provide a comfort and a stability that the world can never change. Learn of this today so that you may be a source of Knowledge within the world so that your Source may express itself through you.

PRACTICE 152: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

Note: “You are here to give, not to judge, and in stillness you are without judgment upon the world. Recognize, then, the waves of fear, but do not let them touch you, for in Knowledge they cannot touch you because Knowledge is beyond all fear.”

From the Journal:

6:30 A.M. I will not use fear to support my judgments.

S2K practice – to actively consider this. This, it says will have me learn about wisdom and ignorance. In spite of ACIM and my learning of ego/fear – in practice I am not w/o it. I get attacked, my life is attacked, and I’m fearful. My relationships are stressed. People, the kids make mistakes and are slow to learn. Fear confuses me and robs energy. I often do not know how to act and feel isolated. …

What is the world and where do I fit? I am not alone in spirit, yet I am alone in this body. Can I become: have I been self-aware enough to know/feel/sense/experience my connection.

 Sense yes. I observe the world. I have built a role for myself within it. Sometime I’m satisfied, but often not. Relationships are getting more challenging and easier all at once – we judge not.

What must I do to feel at home in the world? Simply accept the world, release judgments of yourself. It is an amusement park – you’ve signed up for a ride – for the experience.

Who or  what conspires to give the experience?

- I truly seek to Know God
- be still and KNOW –

8:17 A.M. I know S2K is for me to learn to have happiness on earth so that I might move my soul to a level wher there is no fatigue.

6:45 p.m. This day has been productive. The MIF meeting went well. The personnel committee met and authorized me to move forward with part time help to get us caught up. COG and ICPRB folks were very helpful. I can continue “personnel” recovery – but it has been two years plus of hell! Lesson burned.

6:55 p.m. Practice #2 “I will not use fear to support my judgments.”

It’s good that this exercise call for active thought. When the Personnel Committee met unexpectedly today – my first reaction was fear – that they were going to fire me or otherwise make my life more miserable - … When called in I was surprised that they authorized me to get part time help and move to a finance officer position. I said thank you.

My judgment was that the pers group was not working in my best interest – and fear – past experience/pain seemed to feed that.

I read GCW-I on happiness – rather finished it this a.m. – the base line sense being sought is happiness in the world – acceptance of pain – is that not denial?

I judge myself – and fear that I’m right. I resist being judgmental of others – Lloyd for example, but fear that Sarah will ultimately be hurt. If I accept hurt as normal/do I support/tolerate abuse? Am I fearful to take action because I may be attacked?

I’m feeling judgmental to Sarah’s counselor Sue ---- Who started Sarah off on her birth-mother search, creating havoc for M.E. & Sarah – ultimately leading to the current disappointment. I would like to see this lead to success and self –supporting growth in Sarah. I hold back. Am I foolish?

I trust in process that leads to discernment. That is what planning/facilitating has taught me.

Since ACIM I’ve worked on discernment rather than judgment. Thus this Step is not totally new territory.

The Step says: “… only from a place of self-love can you offer correction to yourself and to others.”

I understand the importance of self-love, but am not there totally. I may judge myself – I do judge myself as having failed. How can I self-change better?

A wordy day. Of course it was a thinking exercise, but much was going on. Your life is probably as complicated, but with other characters. In reading this entry I was quite amazed to find this particular question: “What must I do to feel at home in the world?”  Much later I’ll explain why. If you’ve had that question too, then do stick with the Steps through Step 365.