Step 174 - My life is necessary. Entry for Step 173 - Today I will do what is necessary.

Greetings All –

YOUR LIFE IS NECESSARY. It is not a biological accident. It is not a mere chance circumstance that you arrived in this world. Your life is necessary. If you could but recall what you went through to come into this world and the preparation that was required—both within this world and beyond—for you to emerge here, then you would realize the importance of your being here and the importance of the Knowledge that you carry within you. Your life is necessary. There is no form of conceit here. It is simply a recognition of truth. In your evaluation of yourself, your life is either pathetic or grandiose. Yet, the necessity of your life has nothing to do with your evaluations, though your evaluations can bring you closer to or take you farther from this one true recognition.

YOUR LIFE IS NECESSARY. Understand this and it will banish your sense of self-judgment and condemnation. Understand this and it will bring humility into your self-grandiose ideas. Understand this and your plans may then in time be adjusted to Knowledge itself, for your life is necessary.

REPEAT THIS STATEMENT UPON THE HOUR and consider it regardless of your emotions, your circumstances and whatever thoughts are prevailing in your mind, for Knowledge is greater than thoughts and is meant to govern thoughts. In your two meditation practices, allow the word RAHN to take you deep into practice. Feel the necessity of your own life—its value and its importance. This is something that you can experience directly. It does not require your evaluation. It does not require that you consider yourself to be greater than others. It is merely a profound experience of reality, for your life is necessary. It is necessary for you. It is necessary for your world. It is necessary for life itself.

PRACTICE 174: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

From the Journal:

6:20 A.M. January 6, 2000 – The great depression is not repeatable because the world has learned – the banks have learned how to respond. The stock market remains volatile – When is it time to get in? Not now –

Began with some Tai Chi. Need to wake up before meditation.

Localities have governance, regions have administration.   

9:45 p.m. Today I did what was necessary through 8 p.m. It wasn’t all done. I couldn’t do anymore. I came home, went out to buy food – deciding to have a Wild Turkey and popcorn for dinner and watch TV comedies.

12:23 A.M. Friday, January 7, 2000
I’ve been angry this evening. I did the necessary all day – I’ve done it for years, for decades – there is no joy in it -  hardly life. No effort tonight – mindless joy. I’ll sleep, make up – and do the next practice. It makes no sense.

12:50 A.M. Still stupid after all these years. I can’t go back to Jo Evans giving me a three finger Wild Turkey on the rocks and feeling good.

Maybe GCW isn’t for me?

Oops, “back in the soup.” That is a phrase The Teachers use which captures how it is for a student to be a devoted one moment, then thrown off course by something in the world. This day, I was thrown off. I know that is the case in other days ahead, though I’m only looking at the journal one day at a time. So, you may be experiencing this too – and that is normal. If you are not – well, good for you. Let’s keep moving forward.