Step 34 - I am a beginning student of Knowledge. Entry for Step 33 - I have a mission in my life to fulfill.

Greetings All -

YOU ARE A BEGINNING STUDENT OF KNOWLEDGE. Regardless of how intuitive you may consider yourself, regardless of how mentally capable you may consider yourself, regardless of how emotionally honest you may consider yourself, no matter what your recognized advancement, you are a beginning student of Knowledge. Be happy that this is so, for beginning students are in a position to learn all things and need not defend their accomplishments. We do not belittle your accomplishments but instead wish to shine the light of truth upon the greatness that waits to be discovered within you, a greatness that will give you true equality in life and in time will reveal what you have come here specifically to do.

IN YOUR TWO PRACTICE PERIODS, begin by acknowledging to yourself that you are a beginning student of Knowledge and by reminding yourself to make no premature conclusions either about this curriculum or about your abilities as a student. Such judgments are premature and rarely reflect the truth in any way. They are usually a
form of self-discouragement and thus serve no worthy purpose at all.

AFTER DECLARING TODAY’S IDEA TO YOURSELF and reminding yourself not to judge, practice 15 minutes of inner stillness in your two practice periods. Attempt to feel the truth within you. Focus your mind on one point, either a physical point or an imaginary point if necessary. Let everything settle down inside. Let yourself become as quiet as possible, and do not be discouraged if there is difficulty. You are a beginning student of Knowledge and thus can learn all things.

PRACTICE 34: Two 15-minute practice periods.

This is the beginning. We are beginning students.  

Having been raised Lutheran in Wisconsin and, taking the church seriously, I was listening for my call to service. I did not feel called to the ministry, as some friends were, but it seemed I should be doing something. After becoming 33, about the age Jesus completed his ministry, I thought I might have missed my calling.

From the Journal:

4:50 A.M. August 18 - The Grand Cross is complete. Belief landmarks in time come and go. The earth is still here. So am I.

S2K 33 - I have a mission in my life to fulfill. (I hope it is easy).

2:35 p.m. late lunch. In the early mediation/thought there was nothing. The timer seemed to go off soon. 

Late at work - "the mission is here." It was followed by several phone calls based on the relationships I've created.

6:45 p.m. Home to mediate S2K and eat. 

I have a mission in my life to fulfill. What does that mean?Is it learning to acquire for use elsewhere? I've thought about this before.

My purpose could be to open one door at the right time, to get the donkey for Jesus to ride into Jerusalem, to encourage one person. ACIM says we are to do our small part.

A mission could be grandiose. Of huge importance to the entire universe. I don't seem to have the equipment for that.

My orientation since young had been to do things for others in worse shape. It was that motivation to make cities work that led to planning.

After so many years I'm burned out often, lacking the stamina perhaps.

I considered the ministry when young. Just this A.M. I thought it would be good to go to a monastery. There I'd be told what to do.

Is this mission self-directed?

I do not know. I'm dozing ...

The book says not to jump to a conclusion. I don't know what other reasons I could have for being here. 

If my Holy Spirit/Knowledge connection grows, it will be clear, or so it seems from the emphasis on Knowledge. I would like that to become clear since I've no particular goals. 

The thought, "Here am I; send me," comes to mind.

A half hour has passed. It is 7:15 p.m.

In two half-hour session, one could have many thoughts. I wrote down quite a few back then. Hopefully, you might see value in keeping your journal, as compared to thinking about the comments of others.