Step 45 - Alone I can do nothing. Entry for Step 44 - I wish to know my own strength.

Greetings All -

ALONE YOU CAN DO NOTHING. Nothing has ever been
accomplished alone, even in your world. Nothing has ever
been created alone, even in your mind. There is no credit to be received by doing something alone. Everything is a joint effort. Everything is the product of relationship.

DOES THIS DEMEAN YOU AS AN INDIVIDUAL? Most certainly not. It gives you the environment and the understanding to realize your true accomplishments.You are greater than your individuality, and thus you may be free of its limitations.You work through the individual that is you personally, but you are greater than this. Accept the limitations of a limited self, and do not require a limited self to be God or you will give it great burdens and great expectations and will then punish it for its failures. This leads to self-hatred. This leads you to resent your physical life and to abuse yourself personally, emotionally and physically. Accept your limitations so that you may accept greatness within your life.

THEREFORE, IN YOUR TWO PRACTICE PERIODS TODAY, with your eyes open, concentrate now on your limitations. Recognize them. Do not judge them as good or bad. Simply recognize them. This gives you humility, and in humility you are in a position to receive greatness. If you are defending your limitations, how can you receive that which
transcends them?

PRACTICE 45: Two 15-minute practice periods.

Desired, but not easy.

From the Journal:

7 A.M. Monday, August 30, 1999
On the shore at Lake Bridgeport for my S2K meditation "I wish to know my own strength." I could only go 19 minutes. I felt last night the strength of my will in the meditation. "My will is to know God." I could see/feel my will extending through my life as it sought to Know God. The seeker/search for God has been my motivation. The strength of my will I felt yesterday before today's practice about "strength."

I am finding this much more powerful and useful than the books about it could convey. So - the lessons run - 

- Urantia - We are here to do God's will
- ACIM - God's will and my will are the same.
- RUOW (Right Use of Will) - Will manifests Spirit
- S2K - I can Know God's will directly (?)

Sorting things out as I go. This is, I expect, common for students.