Step 334 - The presence of my Teachers is with me every day. Entry for Step 333 - There is a presence with me. I can feel it.

Greetings All –

Step 334 - The presence of my Teachers is with me every day.

EVERY DAY, NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE, no matter where you go, the presence of your Teachers is with you. This idea is to remind you that you are not alone. This idea is to give you an opportunity to come out of the isolation of your own imagination and to experience this presence and to receive the gift of this presence. In this gift, your Teachers will give to you the ideas and inspiration that you need. In this, you will express what you have received and thus confirm what you have received.

PRACTICE REMEMBERING THIS UPON THE HOUR by once again concentrating on the presence that is with you. You need only relax to feel it, for it is most certainly with you. In your deeper practices, once again enter stillness in the sanctuary of Knowledge so that you may receive this presence and the great confirmation and comfort that it gives to you. Allow yourself to leave self-doubt and the sense of unworthiness aside, for these things will be consumed in the fire of Knowledge and purified from your mind. When this is done, you will not need to give yourself grandiose ideas of yourself. You will not need to misrepresent yourself in the attempt to escape your sense of guilt and inadequacy, for guilt and inadequacy are consumed in the fire of Knowledge. Therefore, bring all that obstructs your participation and all fears that haunt and oppress you to the fire of Knowledge so that they may be consumed. You will sit in front of this fire, and you will see them being consumed, and you will feel your mind being bathed and cleansed in the loving fire of Knowledge. The presence is with you every day. The fire of Knowledge is with you every day.

PRACTICE 334: Two 30-minute practice

Yesterday:  Step 333 - There is a presence with me. I can feel it.

This Step points to a profound experience of the presence of one’s Teachers. It is a threshold when experienced. Did I experience it the day of this Step in the year 2000? No mention in the journal or on the page. The journal does cover some territory that others might recognize:

7 a.m. June 14, 2000 – waking depressed – tired – What is my life supposed to be?

7:50 a.m. Where am I? I've adequate food, clothing, shelter – this is been true all of my life. That alone makes me blessed in the physical. Being in the world has been a challenge – finding and using my talents, my spirit. I feel that I've made progress – my path is true in spirit – the passage is confusing. I'm operating in a learning environment.

Is there a way for me to be more effective with my time? A way to teach…

– The universe is experimental – relationships can be discerned through science. Emergent design can be viewed, sense, imagined – the modules can be separated and recombined.

6:53 p.m. At home – Tomorrow an Exec. Com. meeting. I had thought I could make a good showing and get back in the driver's seat – that a 1% chance.

I'm don't know what I'm doing – out of/lack of good options – not fear. Had I known where or how to go earlier – I would.

There may be no spiritual component to this situation – just tough noogies. I don't even have a clue.

12:58 a.m. Thursday, June 15, 2000 – There is so much that could be done…so much I tried to do… so much I neglect to do… What really should be done? And how am I to Know?

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At the end of the day, I’m looking for guidance. Starting out self-reflective in the a.m., I write: “my path is true in spirit – the passage is confusing.” The search is still on, and I continued on then. Let us continue now.

NNC

 

P.S. At Step 334, we are 31 Steps from the end – Step 365. This is not the place to begin this Practice. If you’ve some interest due to this or other Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one post per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message. 

Step 333 - There is a presence with me. I can feel it. Entry for Step 332 - I am only beginning to comprehend the meaning of Knowledge in my life.

Greetings All –

Step 333 - There is a presence with me. I can feel it.

FEEL THE PRESENCE OF YOUR TEACHERS TODAY who abide with you and oversee your preparation as a student of Knowledge. Feel their presence today and you will feel your own presence, for you are joined together in this presence that you feel. Remember that you are not alone, and you will not become isolated in your own thoughts. You will not become isolated in your own fearful considerations.

UPON THE HOUR EXPERIENCE THIS PRESENCE, for this presence is with you upon the hour. Feel this presence no matter where you are today, whether you are at work or at home, whether you are alone or with another, for this presence is with you wherever you go.

IN YOUR TWO DEEP MEDITATION PRACTICES allow yourself to experience the presence of love, which is the presence of Knowledge, which is the presence of Wisdom, which is the presence of certainty, which is the source of your purpose, meaning and direction in the world and which contains for you your calling in the world. Come into the proximity and into the experience of this presence in your deeper meditations. Do not neglect this, for here you will experience self-love, self-worth and true inclusion in life. Take this presence with you today and receive this presence in your deeper meditations, and you will know that the presence is with you every day.

PRACTICE 333: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

Yesterday:  Step 332 - I am only beginning to comprehend the meaning of Knowledge in my life.

From the Journal:

12:30 a.m. June 13, 2000 – Tuesday – My brain gets more insane – I approach Knowledge, then my life runs away.

I can create value. I have used the system to do so – why isn't that seen & supported?

7 a.m. On the back porch – I'm angry – angry because of fear – I fear I erred, missed many opportunities and have no good options.

Is this mid-life crisis – I'm not going to live with comfort?

My ideas still grow – even though I'm tired and negative.

People are depending upon me for a lot. Can't let them down. 

I feel my life is over – dead ended – and Step 332 says – "I am only beginning to comprehend the meaning of Knowledge in my life."

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9:03 a.m. At work. Lots to do – my passion is coordination across boundaries. Really – the boundaries don't exist – but they've been created.

Perhaps a quadrant analysis would work.

7:05 p.m. Back porch – Train on the nearby track – flying through. I could to be closer – glad that house fell through.

Had lunch with Bill L… today. Hadn't seen him for two years. Told him of my fate at PDC and my goals. He was supportive – a nice response. I'll need to meet with him again.

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– I need to create my next business using what I've learned. It is a greater challenge than I imagined. It often takes all my energy just to get through the day – little left when I get home.

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– so here I am – $$ limbo – what do I do?

First I want to Know my errors so I don't make them again. I'm not here to save the world. I shouldn't take on that cross.

9 p.m. On the orphan path. I finished my second Practice? When did I do the first? "I'm only beginning to comprehend the meaning of Knowledge in my life."

The quadrant book is interesting – makes me feel disappointed – yet I know why I have the result I have and which errors put me off. I also know that I didn't know – and fear kept me from following intuition. I need to Know the Knowledge part of the quadrant…for my part.

→ my skill – Adding value with geography? – What is my product? What will a customer buy?

I wonder if I’m having a mid-life crisis; my life errors have led me to a – dead end, yet Step 332 says: "I am only beginning to comprehend the meaning of Knowledge in my life."

At age 53, “only beginning;” is this possible? Though I’m not fully aware of how I am being assisted at this time, the Steps are saving my life and have been doing so throughout this period. I continued and suggest you do the same. Therefore, let us continue.

NNC

P.S. At Step 333, we are 32 Steps from the end – Step 365. This is not the place to begin this Practice. If you’ve some interest due to this or other Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one post per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message. 

Step 332 - I am only beginning to comprehend the meaning of Knowledge in my life. Entry for Step 331 - What is small expresses that which is great.

Greetings All –

Step 332 - I am only beginning to comprehend the meaning of Knowledge in my life.

YOU ARE ONLY BEGINNING TO COMPREHEND THIS, for your comprehension will be born of experience, recognition and the result of your application. Because you are a beginning student of Knowledge, you have a beginning comprehension. Take heart in this, for this frees you from attempting to draw conclusions about your participation and about your life. Thus, you need not attempt the impossible and can relieve your mind of a great burden that would otherwise overshadow your happiness and dispel your sense of peace and meaningful activity today. When you accept that you are only beginning to comprehend the meaning of your life and the meaning of Knowledge within your life, this frees you to participate and to learn more. Without the burden of judgment, which you would place upon your life otherwise, you are free to participate and your participation will make you free.

REMIND YOURSELF UPON THE HOUR that you are only beginning to comprehend the meaning of Knowledge in your life. In your deeper practice periods, once again enter your sanctuary of Knowledge so that your capacity for Knowledge may grow, your desire for Knowledge may grow and your experience of Knowledge may grow. Only as these things grow can your comprehension grow. Therefore, you are freed from judgment. You are free to participate, where all understanding will emerge.

PRACTICE 332: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

Yesterday:  Step 331 - What is small expresses that which is great.

At this point, the language of the individual Steps begins to get stronger. Can one get it all the first time through? I doubt it. That is why the second pass through will begin January 1. That will then be followed by Continuation Steps. Over my years as a student, I’ve found things go better when I have a Steps practice daily. It provides structure and continuous amazement as I find aspects I didn’t see, recognize or grasp when studied earlier.

Step 331 ends strongly with the sanctuary of Knowledge:

  

The journal entries were mundane, testing a metaphor for regions:

8:32 a.m. Monday, June 12, 2000 – Sliced Bread – the whole loaf made manageable – regions = sliced bread/or

Local = sliced bread – regions are club sandwiches.

Loaf = State

slices = localities

sandwiches = regions

9:40 a.m. Regions – a geography for coordination

– In the Winc Star this morning – The Step "That which is small expresses that which is great," was exemplified in the story about Charles Martel Hale, Jr. – an autistic man who could not speak – but through facilitated communication has been able to connect…

7:25 p.m. – Home – tired, sweaty – lots to do at work, but little motivation. ---

8:04 p.m. At the trailhead – the more I read “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” – the angrier I get – The last 10 years have been a waste. I've lost my business – PDC and have no next plan. Because Cindy never wanted to do financial planning – I didn't make time and have not done what I could.

I'm angry. Getting wealthy was not a goal. Could have been – I was on Spiritual Welfare – The art of planning – for whom? I wasn't taking care of the pillars – wealth/health – so I don't have what I think I need

11:58 p.m. Home – Worked Water Auth.  9-11:30 – Why?

Oh, yes, anger too. I don’t know if this is normal for students of Knowledge, but I had a similar experience 20+ years before. My first wife and I went to marriage counseling. I’d met separately with the counselor, a woman, about our age – early 30’s. After I told her my problems and experiences in the then eight year marriage, I got angry about what I’d tolerated. This I explained in the next session and she said that was common, once we’ve been honest with ourselves.

This is, then not entirely a new lesson, but I for one, as a human, am a slow learner. I read and understand the words, but the experience and action, that takes time. Let us continue. This kind of anger management is probably better all the way around, though it is a surprise that it is an issue. “I thought I was smarter than that.” Let us continue.

NNC

P.S. At Step 332, we are 33 Steps from the end – Step 365. This is not the place to begin this Practice. If you’ve some interest due to this or other Steps, you should go to the beginning blog post. From here you will learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense; then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one post per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.