Step 318 - There is a Greater Power at work in the world. Entry for Step 317 - I need but relinquish my ambivalence to know the truth.

Greetings All –

THERE IS A GREATER POWER AT WORK IN THE WORLD because there is a Greater Power at work in your life, and this Greater Power is at work in the lives of all who dwell here. Even if the majority of the inhabitants of your world are not yet ready to begin the reclamation of Knowledge, Knowledge dwells within them still and casts its influence upon them—an influence which will affect them in certain ways and which they will ignore in other ways. Yet, as you become the recipient and the representative of Knowledge and as you become the vehicle for Knowledge’s expression in the world, you will have the power to activate and to influence all who need to receive Knowledge within themselves. In this way, everything you do, great and small, becomes a blessing upon the world. You who are now learning to give up self-condemnation and to escape ambivalence will see the efficacy of your own Inner Guidance casting its spark of life upon the world. Thus, you become a part of the force for good, a force that is serving a Greater Power in the world.

THE WORLD DEMONSTRATES ITS ERRORS with gravity and magnitude, but these errors are offset by the presence of a Greater Power in the world. Without this Greater Power, humanity would not have evolved this far. Without this Greater Power, all that has been good in your manifestations, all that has served and inspired humanity and all that has spoken of the greatness of Knowledge, directly or indirectly, would not have occurred. The Greater Power in the world has allowed the evolution of humanity to continue and has kept Knowledge alive in the world through individuals such as yourself who, through the spark of their own Knowledge, have been called into preparation so that Knowledge may be reclaimed and expressed and thus kept alive.

THEREFORE, HAVE HOPE BECAUSE A GREATER POWER is in the world. But do not think that this makes you passive. Do not think that this lifts from your shoulders the responsibility that always accompanies the reclamation of Knowledge. This Greater Power in the world requires that you be prepared to receive it and to express it. Your voice is its voice; your hands are its hands; your eyes are its eyes; your ears are its ears; your movement is its movement. It relies upon your preparation and upon your demonstration, as you rely upon it for certainty and as you rely upon it for purpose, meaning and direction. Thus, it is through your reliance upon Knowledge and Knowledge’s reliance upon you that your union with Knowledge is made complete.

UPON THE HOUR REMIND YOURSELF that a Greater Power is at work in the world. Think of this as you look upon the world in its ambivalence and error. Think of this when you look upon the world in its magnificence and its inspiring expression. If you will but look without judgment, you will see the amazing presence of Knowledge in the world. This will give you confidence in the world as you are now learning to have confidence in yourself.

IN YOUR DEEPER PRACTICE PERIODS TODAY, re-enter your sanctuary where you come to give yourself to a Greater Power that is in the world and that is within yourself. Allow your mind to be still so that you may receive and experience this Greater Power in your life. Here you learn to receive that which receives you. Here you learn to recognize that which receives the world and which gives the world its only true hope.

PRACTICE 318: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

Ambivalence, once understood, became very difficult for me. The journal record this fact on this day in 2000. There are moments of understanding and not, ending the day noting: “T-om master of ambivalence.” Perhaps you are doing better with this concept.

12:40 a.m. Monday, May 29, 2000
Memorial Day weekend Monday – stretching and breathing – Body flex – OK – add breathing to any stretch.

Racing, bourbon, cheese, TV in the basement – certainly base – American –

8:15 a.m. Waking up out of ambivalence. I must create my own business from the data, geography & tools at hand. I am trying to understand the cause of my ambivalence – Step 320 says "your ambivalence is caused and is being perpetuated by your own intimidation and fear of the world." This is true – I've been hiding – expectations get so big – and now – where my "giving" creates acceptance problems for my local governments.

9:10 a.m. I'm fine today, but tomorrow might not be so good – that is imagination and fear robbing today's energy. It has been part of my life for a long time.

I trust that my inspiration comes from Knowledge, since I know it didn't come from me. As my awareness expands more consciously, pieces begin to fit. I have some few that have an understanding of my view – very few, but ones that are open at least – until I find in my community – rather – until I engage within my Royal Frontier [French translation of Front Royal] community – I'll be less than I can (?)

9:45 a.m. Continuing my search for understanding by working ahead in the lessons. I need more to get out of my ambivalence and recognize Knowledge – to stem the loss of energy.

10:35 a.m. Today is lesson 317 – "I need but relinquish my ambivalence to know the truth." I am so, so hungry for Knowledge that I've previewed again the lessons through 350 – number 351 begins the final lessons. – Even though I can't absorb it all – I must go through until the end. I am that hungry

10:42 a.m. Here I sit – in a small bedroom in a small house on a tiny street Midland Avenue – in Front Royal, VA – some dot on the planet. In my humble home – my simple life – my open soul – the truth is gently confirmed to my soul – and I am humbled – so what am I called to do? Is this it? I'm just on the edge – and in all of that which is the creation.

– War tells us loudly that war is wrong.

– Life is hungry to perpetuate itself.

10:55 a.m. It is a holiday – so I'll spend time with Cindy. Home – H-ome – is what we all seek.

2 p.m. At Winchester. Home is what we bring to the manifest. To leave home and establish your own; the challenge of manifestation?

4:20 p.m. When I read, meditate – it seems so clear. I get out in the world to practice and it is so mundane. Is it the built environment – being where there is little that's alive? I'm not bored in the woods. What is it?

8:07 p.m. On the back porch. It is a cool evening. Meditating here – rather than going to the woods. Not being ambivalent about home, wife, work, life – breathing and stretching. Seeking to be community. Seeking to perceive the truth in every communication.

I haven't been doing much lately – ambivalent and confused. I seek to achieve more focus. I want my work to emerge –

Ambivalence is shoulda, coulda, woulda – but that can't build the future. People need inspiration – can that be done w/o intervention/interference?

What do you want? Peace –
How do you get it? Not war!

I know this world can be better. I know we are saved by our [community] investments.

– "This is a day of freedom."
I recognize ambivalence in my life and do not choose confusion.

11:10 p.m. T-om master of ambivalence. My tools – bourbon, computer surfing, TV, cheese, more bourbon, Comedy Central TV, CNN, whatever –

This day provided an interesting range of thoughts. Again I’ve looked ahead, but that hasn’t sped me up. There is a great deal to unlearn and new perspectives to learn. This will take some time, so let us continue.


P.S. At Step 318, we are less than two months from the end – Step 365. If you’ve found this and find some appeal in this or other Steps, you should really go to the beginning blog post. From here you learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense and then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one per Step.

Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message