Greetings All –
Step 315 - Today I will not be alone. Entry for Step 314 - I will not be afraid to follow today.
Greetings All –
TODAY DO NOT BE ALONE. Do not isolate yourself in your fear or in your negative imagination. Do not isolate yourself in your fantasies. Do not think you are alone, for this is a fantasy. Today do not be alone. Realize that those who are with you are not persuaded by your errors or dismayed by your failures, but recognize your true nature and your Knowledge. Those who are with you today love you without exception. Receive their love, for this will confirm that you are not alone, and this will confirm that you do not wish to be alone. Why else would you want to be alone except to hide your pain, your sense of failure and your sense of guilt? These things which are the result of your separation only isolate you further.
YET, TODAY YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Therefore, choose not to be alone, and you will see that you have never been alone. Choose not to isolate yourself, and you will see that you are part of life already. Confirm this upon the hour and realize again the many opportunities to consider this throughout the day. In your deeper meditation practices, begin with the invocation of today’s message. Then, enter into stillness and silence where there is no separation. Allow yourself to receive the great gifts of love which are due you and dispel any sense of inadequacy and unworthiness that are merely the residue of your separate, imagined life. Today you are not alone. Therefore, there is hope for the world.
PRACTICE 315: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.
Our challenge is self-acceptance. This Step addresses that: “Merely accept what you are and utilize it for good. Here you end the war against yourself, where you have attempted to be something that you are not. Learn to accept yourself, and you will realize you are accepted.” The “merely” part is not easy to achieve, which is why Steps are done more than once.
Another busy day in the journal dealing with this Step and life concerns.
12:20 p.m. Still May 26, 2000 – S2K 314 "I will not the afraid to follow today."
Text says: "…you are a follower…a student…a learner. Merely accept what you are and utilize it for good."
"You are only asked to be a recipient of Knowledge. … your mind now is being drawn away from fantasy and confusion (that I could be young again or do things differently in my life). Realize how much time and energy is available to you."
"Once again enter the Sanctuary of K to give yourself. It is in this giving that you receive. It is in this giving that you will find what you seek this day."
I thought I'd already given myself to service of the creator?
How is this different? Spiritual family.
This day and every day I seek peace. It does not seem possible with the people I deal with because they seek a peace with personal advantage, or peace is not in their M.O. They want their way. I'm tired of the conflict of life – being still to disappear – and bring my kids to peace.
2:10 p.m. Accept what I’ve already done – committed to spirit – receive Knowledge and stillness. – My short med.
6 p.m. Time to mow the lawn. Life has lots of maintenance. It gets old. Work remains crazy.
9:57 p.m. On the back porch as Cindy cleans in prep for Penny (her friend) to visit tomorrow. This is Friday night. I mowed the lawn and will mulch the side & front of house. Penny drinks, so I bought some bourbon – and a Wild Turkey for myself $1.20 well spent. So I got a sub to eat, am drinking old coffee – Starbucks OK cool/cold – upper & downer preparing to do practice #2 – reviewing my journal. Bugs out in force – attracted by the light.
As I began reading this volume from front I got a sense of ambivalence within myself – about everything – about what that means – that thread which keeps emerging after a commitment to knowledge.
Is there anything I'm really committed to? Perhaps not. I am committed to the kids – nothing else has been tested.
The S2K scenario says it is the reclamation of knowledge which ends the pain of separation.
Most of the people on earth probably don't see themselves as separated – only the Christians of that bent.
Such an undramatic life; that of a mundane soul. Let us continue.
P.S. At Step 315, we are less than two months from the end – Step 365. If you’ve found this and find some appeal in this or other Steps, you should really go to the beginning blog post. From here you learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense and then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one per Step.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.