Step 305 - I feel the power of love today. Entry for Step 304 - I will not be a student of fear today.
Greetings All –
IF YOU ARE NOT CAUGHT IN THE WORLD’S PERSUASIONS, you will feel the power of love. If you are not seduced into the world’s ambivalence, you will feel the power of love. If you are with Knowledge, you will feel the power of love. This is natural to you, to your being, to your nature and to the nature of all who reside here with you. Therefore, as your studenthood in Knowledge deepens, your experience of love will deepen.
ALLOW LOVE TO BE IN YOUR LIFE TODAY, for Knowledge and love are one. Allow yourself to be a recipient of this today, for in this you are honored and your sense of unworthiness is dispelled. Receive the power of love upon the hour and receive it in your deeper meditation practices, where you practice true receptivity.
ALLOW KNOWLEDGE TO REVEAL THE NATURE OF LOVE TO YOU. Allow your love for Knowledge to generate Knowledge for you, for Knowledge loves you as its own, and as you learn to love Knowledge as your own, your sense of separation from life will disappear. Then, you will be prepared as a contributor in the world, for then you will only wish to contribute that which you have received. You will then realize that there is no other gift that can in any way compare to the gift of Knowledge, which is the gift of love. This you will wish to bestow upon the world with all your heart. Here your Teachers will become more active for you, for they will prepare you to contribute this effectively so that you may fulfill your destiny in the world.
PRACTICE 305: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.
Today’s Step gives a simple, but not easy lesson:
“REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS A STUDENT—every day, every hour and every moment. Therefore, as you become more conscientious, you must select what you will learn. Here you are given a real choice, for you are either a student of Knowledge or you are a student of confusion. Do not be a student of confusion today. Do not be a student of fear today, for without Knowledge there is uncertainty and there is fear.
So, be fearless – not a student of fear. Not easy, but no doubt true and worth the effort.
Ruminations in the journal the first run through this Step.
→ 7:55 .a.m. – Tuesday, May 16, 2000 – Not yet done Practice #1 – 304 – "I will not be a student of fear today." There is much I want to do in the PC set up – email addresses, etc.
- Running late for work; trying to determine where I can squeeze in 30 min meditation. – Then thinking of earth/man's role/how loss of man would allow restoration of balance in biosphere – then thinking of the span of time/movement which has manifest where I now physically reside → the movement over millions of years (trips around this Sun) of life on this planet – then the whole creation/manifestation/– "a movement" The Creator's movement (like Bauhaus movement). What am I here to manifest?
Fear – my relationship to food – I fear hunger – past life/hypo-glycemic?
I medicate with food – it is an attempt to feel better.
6:07 .p.m. Still not yet Practice #1 – on the back porch. Interesting day going to Fred. Co. on RTOP – all the work it takes to deal with tires. So much of life is invisible…taken for granted.
Work continues to pile up. I'm confused. Today I was going to tell Alan L--- about my change in job title – but didn't – was that K or Fear or something else? –
Right now I don't have enough power to change things back. I don't even know if I want that. Like the separation from M.E. – though bad, the freedom was worth it – so I decided I didn't want her back if she ever asked – never did. A mute (moot) point as they say around here!
It is good that I have no ego – that the bullets can fly through me with little wounding, no blood, and an entertaining irony! I do deny the pain of it.
My book idea title then for today as it popped out enroute to Winc in the a.m. – Regional Intelligence: The Effective Use of Local Boundaries in a Boundaryless World.
- Now purged of thoughts – Practice #1 – "I will not be a student of fear today."
304 "When you return to your two deeper meditation practices today, repeat the idea for today so that you may enter into stillness and silence within your sanctuary."
→ I am always near "my sanctuary" as it is near me. I can be continuously in "stillness" and internal "silence"
6:35 .p.m. the practice – begin open – eye
9:56 .p.m. At the trail – just finished Practice #2 – in the woods – on the left side – orphan trail. Open eye most of the time – I feel good in the woods. The body easily stays still – mind explores – drifts into work things. I mentally said they're saved in "mind mail" – like Outlook 2000 – my mind needs to organize. Stillness is to do that. Still the world is being built out – so there is no life for me in the forest.
How could I spend more time in the woods I wondered? Now it rains – I was lucky to come out just as it picked up – (leather jacket on).
Is this record of any importance? I don't Know.
Fear – how much of a challenge is that? It may depend upon the environment in which you were raised. If you were a Baby-Boomer, born in the period 1946-1964, as I was, you grew up in the era of the Cold War and MAD – Mutually Assured Destruction as the outcome of nuclear war. This is not given any note in the Wikipedia entry.
Fear of nuclear was something in my mind for decades. It really wasn’t until after the dissolution of the Soviet Union in 1991 that such a war faded as a real possibility. Some try to keep the idea alive, but it no longer is the primary fear. That has been replaced by economic collapse, held out as one of the Great Waves of Change.
Getting clear of fear is a promise of Steps. Let us continue.
P.S. At Step 305, we are into Part Two of Steps, so if you’ve found this and find some appeal in this or other Steps, you should really go to the beginning blog post. From here you learn about Steps to Knowledge and can begin it on the day that makes sense and then progress as needed. You can use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in order in the archives - one per Step.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well through the Free School of the New Message.