Greetings All –
IF YOU ARE NOT CAUGHT IN THE WORLD’S PERSUASIONS,
you will feel the power of love. If you are not seduced into the world’s ambivalence,
you will feel the power of love. If you are with Knowledge, you will feel the
power of love. This is natural to you, to your being, to your nature and to the
nature of all who reside here with you. Therefore, as your studenthood in
Knowledge deepens, your experience of love will deepen.
ALLOW LOVE TO BE IN YOUR LIFE TODAY, for Knowledge
and love are one. Allow yourself to be a recipient of this today, for in this
you are honored and your sense of unworthiness is dispelled. Receive the power
of love upon the hour and receive it in your deeper meditation practices, where
you practice true receptivity.
ALLOW KNOWLEDGE TO REVEAL THE NATURE OF LOVE TO YOU.
Allow your love for Knowledge to generate Knowledge for you, for Knowledge
loves you as its own, and as you learn to love Knowledge as your own, your
sense of separation from life will disappear. Then, you will be prepared as a
contributor in the world, for then you will only wish to contribute that which
you have received. You will then realize that there is no other gift that can
in any way compare to the gift of Knowledge, which is the gift of love. This
you will wish to bestow upon the world with all your heart. Here your Teachers
will become more active for you, for they will prepare you to contribute this
effectively so that you may fulfill your destiny in the world.
PRACTICE 305: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly
practice.
Today’s Step gives a simple, but not easy lesson:
“REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS A STUDENT—every
day, every hour and every moment. Therefore, as you become more conscientious,
you must select what you will learn. Here you are given a real choice,
for you are either a student of Knowledge or you are a student of confusion.
Do not be a student of confusion today. Do not be a student of fear today,
for without Knowledge there is uncertainty and there is fear.
So, be fearless – not a student of fear. Not easy,
but no doubt true and worth the effort.
Ruminations in the journal the first run through
this Step.
→ 7:55 .a.m. –
Tuesday, May 16, 2000 – Not yet done Practice #1 – 304 – "I will not be a
student of fear today." There is much I want to do in the PC set up –
email addresses, etc.
- Running
late for work; trying to determine where I can squeeze in 30 min meditation. –
Then thinking of earth/man's role/how loss of man would allow restoration of
balance in biosphere – then thinking of the span of time/movement which has
manifest where I now physically reside → the movement
over millions of years (trips around this Sun) of life on this planet – then the
whole creation/manifestation/– "a movement" The Creator's movement
(like Bauhaus movement).
What am I here to manifest?
Fear
– my relationship to food – I fear hunger – past life/hypo-glycemic?
I
medicate with food – it is an attempt to feel better.
6:07
.p.m. Still not yet Practice #1 – on the back porch. Interesting day going to
Fred. Co. on RTOP – all the work it takes to deal with tires. So much of life
is invisible…taken for granted.
Work
continues to pile up. I'm confused. Today I was going to tell Alan L--- about
my change in job title – but didn't – was that K or Fear or something else? –
Right
now I don't have enough power to change things back. I don't even know if I
want that. Like the separation from M.E. – though bad, the freedom was worth it
– so I decided I didn't want her back if she ever asked – never did. A mute
(moot) point as they say around here!
---
It
is good that I have no ego – that the bullets can fly through me with little
wounding, no blood, and an entertaining irony! I do deny the pain of it.
My
book idea title then for today as it popped out enroute to Winc in the a.m. –
Regional Intelligence: The Effective Use of Local Boundaries in a Boundaryless
World.
- Now
purged of thoughts – Practice #1 – "I will not be a student of fear
today."
304
"When you return to your two deeper meditation practices today,
repeat the idea for today so that you may enter into stillness and silence within
your sanctuary."
→ I am always
near "my sanctuary" as it is near me. I can be continuously in
"stillness" and internal "silence"
6:35
.p.m. the practice – begin open – eye
9:56
.p.m. At the trail – just finished Practice #2 – in the woods – on the left
side – orphan trail. Open eye most of the time – I feel good in the woods. The
body easily stays still – mind explores – drifts into work things. I mentally
said they're saved in "mind mail" – like Outlook 2000 – my mind needs
to organize. Stillness is to do that. Still the world is being built out – so
there is no life for me in the forest.
How
could I spend more time in the woods I wondered? Now it rains – I was lucky to
come out just as it picked up – (leather jacket on).
Is
this record of any importance? I don't Know.
Fear – how much of a challenge is that? It may
depend upon the environment in which you were raised. If you were a Baby-Boomer,
born in the period 1946-1964, as I was, you grew up in the era of the Cold War
and MAD – Mutually Assured Destruction as the outcome of nuclear war. This is
not given any note in the Wikipedia entry.
Fear of nuclear was something in my mind for
decades. It really wasn’t until after the dissolution
of the Soviet Union in 1991 that such a war faded as a real possibility.
Some try to keep the idea alive, but it no longer is the primary fear. That has
been replaced by economic collapse, held out as one of the Great Waves of
Change.
Getting clear of fear is a promise of Steps. Let us
continue.
NNC
P.S. At Step 305, we are into Part Two of Steps, so
if you’ve found this and find some appeal in this or other Steps, you should
really go to the beginning blog post. From here you learn about Steps to Knowledge and
can begin it on the day that makes sense and then progress as needed. You can
use the posts on this blog as a companion if it helps. They will remain in
order in the archives - one per Step.
Often it takes 18 months to get through the Steps
once. For this blog, the pace is one-a-day, but it really makes no difference
how fast you do it, only that you begin, persist and repeat. Posts here provide
a trail that may let you have a virtual companion when and if you want one. One
may have to study alone, as I did in the beginning. There are other Steps
students blogging their experience and you might find a person more like you as
a companion, or use a number of such Steps journeys. There are options as well
through the Free School of the New Message.
