Step 78 - I can do nothing alone.
YOU CAN DO NOTHING ALONE, for you are not alone. A greater truth you will not find. Yet, you will not find a truth that will require greater thought and examination. Do not take it at face value, for this truth is very great. It is necessary that you study it.
UPON EACH HOUR TODAY REPEAT THIS STATEMENT and consider its impact. Do this in all circumstances, for in time you will find how to learn in every circumstance, how to practice in every circumstance, how every circumstance can benefit your practice and how your practice can benefit every circumstance.
YOU CAN DO NOTHING ALONE, and in your practice today you will receive the assistance of your Spiritual Teachers, who will lend their strength to you.You will feel this as you lend your own strength. You will realize a greater strength than your own will enable you to move forward, to penetrate the great veil of misunderstanding and to realize the source of your Knowledge and the source of your relationships in life. Accept your limitations, for alone you can do nothing, but with life all things are given you to serve.With life, your true nature is valued and glorified in its service to others.
PRACTICE 78: Hourly Practice.
Take note: "A greater truth you will not find."
Saturday, October 2, 1999
9:56 a.m. In my youth I thought the world might be understandable. It is perhaps livable for the majority, though quality is an issue - On a second by second basis, most - the 99.999999999% majority choose to live. The process sustains the underlying wave of life surges forward in an infinite number of of directions.
Reclaiming Knowledge - my age 17 vision of the universe as a spilled file cabinet of information.
3:21 p.m. At the land - (Frederick County) ...
In the wholy place I spend my sabbath. The stream goes to the sea. Water always knows where it is going -
Review - Step 77 - I am there. It is like a review of Turn, Turn, Turn - "You must learn of truth and you must learn of error." It feels like I've had more experience of error - w/o learning. What ever I'm to be learning at lfpdc - it is surely slow. The people side is most difficult. Step 77 says: Unless you have learned of error and can look at it objectively and understand how it has arisen and how it can be relieved - until you have learned these thing - you will not know how to serve others, and their errors will anger you and frustrate you." [This is where I am now and have been for several years.]
It says: "With Knowledge your expectations will be in harmony with the nature of another. ... you will learn how to serve and forget how to condemn."
I needed "knowledge" five years ago - I need it now every day, every minute.
Dear Tom -
Remain on the path . Keep your faith. Knowledge is with you.
Step 71 - greater purpose - Valley Restoration?
72 - trust my deepest inclinations -
I listed them 6 p.m. - 9/27 - They are:
- to seek spirit (Knowledge)
- to promote/make others aware of - cooperation
- to be a good teacher/student/teacher
- to see beauty in people, situations and things - (a separate perspective)
- to understand the movement/flow of time - past, present, future
- to be in the forest - the woods
- to serve, help and be helped as teacher/student
- to honor the land
- to build/assemble -
- to organize for a piece of the flow
- Design - living, slef adapting creation
- to stay embodied
- to love my children -
>in the copy I've changed a few as of 10/2/99
Step 78 - I will allow my errors to teach me.
→ I've made many, many errors - but not debriefed myself to get the lesson or make the behavior change.
→ How have I erred? Let me list the ways.
- I let David move to live with M.E.
- No - I must look at it from day 1 →
- I said I wouldn't live in a small town
- I didn't stick with weights
- I didn't get music lessons for guitat
- I didn't kiss ...
- I took responsibility for my parents
- I didn't understand my entertainer profile and cultivate my talents
- I didn't write to publish
- I proposed to soon to M.E.
- I was too focused on marriage
- I didn't know my strength
- I didn't stay in stocks - 1973 -
- I didn't take the job in KY
- I didn't get more training
- I didn't go to learn what alcoholism was sooner.
- I didn't go back to Madison
- I didn't keep my resume current
- I didn't move after the kids
- I stayed at the PDC
- I married again
- I tire to help
- I didn't focus on computer skills sooner - 10/16/99
What is real error?
Not taking responsibility for the outcome. I like the life I've made, but not all the characters that have come into it. TJC
I don't know what error is. I do know I'm angry - it is the judgement that must go with it.
- Error - I was in fear 12/98 and too my securities and converted to cash at 9200 out of fear that I would loose in Y2K.
- My continuous errors are to
under prepare -
seek too much -
be very cheap, yet waste -
stay up late
74- Peace abides with me
75-Today I will listen to myself.
→ On 9/30/99 - I've no record of listening -
8:37 p.m. Home alone. Tubular Bells II on the CD player ... Looking ahead at S2K-
I need the lessons quicker -
I should have started sooner -
- to complete by 12/31/1999 - I'd need to do three lessons per Day - 288 = 3 x 90 = 270 + 18
>My goal every day is to make the Commission look good. >What can we do today to make the Commission look good?
> The people don't want more problems, they want solutions.
If you read through all of that, my apologies. Still, I put all this in to show what kind of mind-unwinding that does take place/needs to take place. My job situation wasn't very good, so here I'm thinking about speeding up the pace - doing three steps a day. Can't remember if I did, but we will find out in the year.