Step 82 - I will not judge another today. Entry for Step 81 - I will not deceive myself today.

Greetings All –

AGAIN WE PRACTICE THIS LESSON, which we will repeat at certain intervals as you proceed. Judgment is a decision not to know. It is a decision not to look. It is a decision not to listen. It is a decision not to be still. It is a decision to follow a convenient form of thinking that keeps your mind asleep and keeps you lost within the world. The world is full of error. How could it be otherwise? Therefore, it does not require your condemnation but your constructive assistance.

DO NOT JUDGE ANOTHER TODAY. Remind yourself of this upon each hour and consider it briefly. Remind yourself of this in your two meditation practices, where you make this statement and then enter into stillness and receptivity. Do not judge another today so that you may be happy.

PRACTICE 82: Two 30-minute practice periods.
                             Hourly practice.

From the Journal:

 8 p.m. Wednesday, October 6 - !st session for S2K - "I will not deceive myself today." An illusion wrapped around an illusion inside of an illusion. I probably [have] been very deceptive with myself - in denial. 

Self-condemnation is easy and weak. (S2K)

8:30 p.m. How do I deceive myself?

My beliefs about human behavior have kept me going when signs were negative. 

I have looked for direction, but not found it in any one place. 

My greatest self deception occurs at work - where I try to do more than I can and have over committed for years. No one else is willing to do that for the long term, so I'm more and more strung out. I think I can work it out, but I get more behind every day. 

I've not been firm with the executive committee - personnel committee> I wasn't so with ... or the staff as it went down hill. 

It may be self deception that that work is important. 

10:25 p.m. - I need to be fed information and I need to simplify.

I was then, and had been for a long time, defined by my work. That is a good thing - right? Notes in the Steps book  demonstrate some conflict.

Paragraph two, line one, is edited to read: "YOU MUST ENTER ˄the hell of UNCERTAINTY TO FIND KNOWLEDGE. In 2009, I could not that pain. Also added a perspective on my father and mother. Through the Steps, one's life is rethought. Stick with it. Give yourself time.