Step 80 - I can only practice. Step 79 - I will allow uncertainty to exist today.

Greetings All –

YOU CAN ONLY PRACTICE. Life is practice. We are merely
redirecting your practice so that it serves you and so that it may serve others. You practice all the time, repetitively, over and over. You practice confusion, you practice judgment, you practice projection of blame, you practice guilt, you practice disassociation and you practice inconsistency. You strengthen your judgments by continuing to exert them. You strengthen your uncertainties by continuing to emphasize them. You practice your self-hatred by continuing to influence it.

IF YOU LOOK AT YOUR LIFE OBJECTIVELY but for a moment, you will see that your whole life is practice. Therefore, you will practice regardless of whether you have a curriculum for your benefit or not. Therefore, we give the curriculum which you may now practice. It will replace the practices that have confused and belittled you, that have conflicted you and that have led you into error and into danger. We give you a greater practice so you will not practice those things which undermine your value and your certainty.

IN YOUR TWO MEDITATION PRACTICE PERIODS TODAY, repeat the statement that you can only practice, and then practice stillness and receptivity. Strengthen your practice, and you will confirm what we are saying. You can only practice.Therefore, practice for good.

PRACTICE 80: Two 30-minute practice periods.

"Life is practice."

The Steps book was busy: "This is the big one - RISK" I wrote. "True need" stuck a cord.


From the Journal:

Monday, October 4, 1999 

Step 79 - I will allow uncertainty to exist today.

I had thought I could speed up S2K, but each lesson takes a day. 


I am uncertain about everything except God. God is and I am. 

8:03 A.M. Already I don't care. The GF/SH message of 10/2 was very positive - the new unlimited is coming. For whom do I work - it is uncertain? I keep looking back to see where I came from. That's the wrong direction? I need to look forward. It shouldn't be necessary to go to Texas to be near my kids to find meaning - yet that is where it is - that's what motivates me here. A busy week lies ahead. What can I do?

11 p.m. A good day at work, yet I'm behind... and no energy for the long, long days anymore.

Even as I move in S2K - immersion, I can not  change the past or thinking in the path. Now must be replacing the old. 

I regularly write the day's Step in the journal It helps with memory a little. The Steps and life disappointment go together in the entry. Just working it out, as students are wont to do.