Step 19 - Today I wish to see. Entry from Step 18 - Today I feel the truth arising within myself. #S2K

Greetings All -

Step 19 - Today I wish to see.

THE DESIRE TO SEE IS LIKE THE DESIRE TO KNOW. It too requires a refinement of your mind’s faculties.To see with clear vision means you are not seeing with preference. It means that you are able to perceive that which is actually occurring rather than that which you wish to see.There is something actually occurring beyond your wishes. This is very true.The desire to see, then, is the desire to see a greater truth.This requires a greater honesty and a greater openness of mind.

TODAY IN YOUR TWO PRACTICE SESSIONS, practice looking upon one simple mundane object. Do not take your eyes off of that object, but look and practice looking very conscientiously.You are not trying to see anything.You are simply looking with an open mind. When the mind is open, it experiences its own depth, and it experiences the depth of what it is perceiving. 

CHOOSE ONE SIMPLE OBJECT THAT HAS VERY LITTLE MEANING for you and gaze upon it twice today for at least 15 minutes. Allow your mind to become very still. Breathe deeply and regularly as you gaze upon this object. Allow your mind to settle down into itself.

PRACTICE 19: Two 15-minute practice periods

Like many Steps, 18 has a checklist built-in for our learning:

From the Journal:

7 A.M. Tuesday, Aug 3, 1999 - In meditation Step 18 - Today fell the Truth Arising within me → Starting the day this way feels good. To move/relax deeply into this connection - 

How can I anchor peace/spirit and be connected to humans. Expectations are so high and resources are so low. Doing something with the mind. 

1:07 p.m. Step 18 #2

11: 35 p.m.
My third session of feeling the truth never got me there totally. Too much on my mind.

S2K says we must find those people we are to meet. That is appealing yet flakey. I'd like to meet and be in peer relationships with a better group. No sense of who they might be. I guess that will emerge. 
This is only Step 18. Much more lies ahead.