Step 124 - Today I will not pretend I am happy. Entry for Step 123 - I will not pity myself today.

Greetings All –

YOU DO NOT NEED TO PRETEND THAT YOU ARE HAPPY, for this will only mask a sense of self-pity, compound your confusion and deepen your dilemma. Today be yourself, but be self-observant, keeping in mind that Knowledge is with you as you vacillate to and from, towards and away from Knowledge itself. Because Knowledge does not vacillate, it is a source of certainty, consistency and stability for you. Because it is unafraid of the world, it is a source of fearlessness for you. You are not pitiful, so you need not pretend.

DO NOT PRETEND TO BE HAPPY TODAY, for he or she who is truly satisfied may cast any expression upon the world, but within their expression will be the power of Knowledge. This is what is most important. Knowledge is not a form of behavior. It is an intense experience of life. Therefore, do not attempt to persuade yourself or others with a demonstration of behavior, for this is unnecessary. 

REPEAT THIS STATEMENT UPON THE HOUR and feel its power and its gift of freedom. Allow yourself to be exactly as you are today. In your two deep meditation practices, allow yourself to enter stillness, for when you are not trying to be someone, you may have the luxury of
stillness, which is the luxury of love.

PRACTICE 124: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

From the Journal:

6:30 A.M. Wednesday, November 17 –

Regional diplomacy must be win-win-win-win-win- In international diplomacy, the big cater to the small in order to get peace. In regional diplomacy – the big must first learn the value of the small; learn to see the value of the hinterlands. The hinterlands must learn to cooperate to balance the power of the central co./city.

8:20 A.M. My S2k meditation was bumpy. Work/life issues blocked my route to stillness. The work situation is getting ridiculous. I should file a grievance. They don’t get it and I don’t know how to communicate it.

In S2K I’m rereading the text for more perspective. My view of the world is changing. I am taking responsibility for less and less of the world. At the same time I need to be more responsible for me. At age 52 I’ve yet to learn how to eat, exercise or even plan my finances. Knowledge can calm my fears – and is doing so …

11:49 p.m. I’m moving from this world to a new world – a different perception. I need to reduce my errors. I will keep up appearances with the Commission.

Notes of the day suggest that change is taking place in my mind as a consequence of Steps. The Steps page also has notes. “Be still and know that I am God,”  is inked in. That is Psalm 46:10, a clear connection across space-time and culture that the God of Judaism is the God of Steps to Knowledge.