Step 132 - Let me learn to be free so that I may join. Entry for Step 131 - Today I will seek the experience of true purpose in life.
Greetings All –
YOUR INDEPENDENCE FROM THE PAST—your past judgments, past associations, past pains, past wounds and past difficulties—gives you independence in the present. This is not to solidify your separation or to make it more complete, but instead to enable you to join meaningfully in relationship. Let this be a tacit understanding: You can do nothing in the world without relationship. You can accomplish nothing; you can advance in no direction; you can realize no truth; you can contribute nothing of value without relationship. So as your independence from the past grows, thus does your promise for inclusion in the present and the future grow as well. For freedom is meant to empower you to join.
REMEMBER THIS IDEA UPON THE HOUR and give it consideration in light of all of your experiences today. In your two meditation practices, allow the attraction of Knowledge to pull you deeper within yourself. Allow yourself to have this experience of freedom.
PRACTICE 132: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.
From the Journal:
8:30 A.M. Thursday, November 25, 1999 [Thanksgiving Day- U.S.A.]
I am on the path home to God - exploring creation on the way, engaged with a family of souls. Greater community must exist and its protocols must be advanced for the physical manifestation. I am a piece - a soul within the whole - but I envision this necessity above, since it is so below.
8:37 A.M. To express my Knowledge, to develop it and give it in the world - I need more time.
→ Regions as an organizing principle - a way of chunking territory.
8:52 A.M. As a young student, my goal was to save the world. I went into communications/film to preach – don’t smoke, whatever. When I saw city slims in Milwaukee and Chicago – the problems of oppressed minorities which I couldn’t help one on one – I though of engineering. After experiencing San Juan, Lisbon, London, Naples, Athens, Malta and returning to Norfolk – VA Beach – I started to look at community design. Wit the reading of “Future Shock” I learned of planning and through the MUA [Master of Urban Affairs] program, began learning about planning. Planning, it turned out, is not new – and regional planning is where I ended up, learning here the real issue is coordination.
We all use all the planet all the time – but are unaware of how it supports us. The first whole view of the planet did not appear until the 1970’s (?) when the first stationary orbit satellite took a picture.
So – my vision – my mission – perhaps my KNOWLEDGE – is this “facilitation of localities” regionally in order to knit together the human community fabric with the social tools to be one planet – a greater community for participation in the greater community. GCW-I, p. 148 – says that the search for greater purpose comes from personal failure – often. My unrealistic greater purpose as a child – saving the world, waiting for my Christ mission at age 32. What came instead was parenthood – and at age 34 – separation and single parenthood. This failure led to a deeper search for God and my born again moment which showed me I could accept Spirit and need not abandon intellect – which I thought I’d been clinging to, (seeking a rational path to peace). All success – turned south to failure – even the PDC –
I did not want personal power and responsibility- I only wanted people to see what I saw and cooperate. The world does not work the way my mind does – in fact, I am a stranger here. My vision is a beautiful planet of dynamic peace which does not condemn or avoid conflict, but uses it to advance. A Greater Wisdom is needed – one I don’t feel I can attain. I envision it as being a group wisdom – process based. So, the task is to facilitate evolution. This requires energy, investment, risk and pain. All manifestation is risk management. It is all temporary. We can discern relative quality –
Music – sound – vibration – is a tool to save. Clusters of diversity – Phoenician souls in travel. It would help if I was better at language. Immersion … my way – and intuition – processing with a greater mind.
Six billion people – how many spiritual families – 300 per? - 20 million – on earth.
Earth packing itself with souls so it can’t be dominated by and alien planet? Greater community strategy?
This may be the big screen picture. My heart energy goes to Sarah today. I send her self-love and strength.
I’ll run out of ink shortly. I sit… – having meditated on S2K “ Today I will seek the experience of true purpose in life.”
11:17 A.M. Spontaneous communion – Bread and wine – in the kitchen of my light house. 607 Midland
In the meditation which began about 10:30 A.M. I centered my chakras with my primary white crystal. It was noisy. I hear traffic and Cindy about downstairs, then in the bathroom beginning to shower. I stayed focused and proceeded, quickly to stillness. I did not have the distractions of earlier meditations. I went/was led to the center by the Christ consciousness, to LOVE and found myself in the Holy Instant – remembering the other times I've been there – Su-ne; Patience, the back porch – now – inside a house, and I did not want to come back – in fact I felt I could leave earth and go home, but for my purpose which is Love in the manifest – expressed as cooperation – the Christ consciousness – “where two or more are gathered in my name, there am I also.” The spirit of cooperation. The first yes of creation leading to my place in the now, and my purpose.
I did not leave for the children – I sent self love and strength to Sarah Marie Christoffel and Lloyd Rose – for in my earthly family – that is the point of greatest need.
Here in the slow world, as it looks – I will participate and do my small part as this manifestation unfolds.
Amen & Amen
Thomas Joseph Christoffel
9:15 p.m. High in the A.M. Drifting down all day. Called Floyd Rose to talk about Sarah. Called David – his stomach is upset – I’ll send him some things.
11:15 p.m. Reading about Love in GCW-I whether or not “regions work” is my contribution, I want it to be part – since it is a vision of seeing the world in a way I’ve not found in others. P. 153 “God wills for you to join with your spiritual family so that you may learn the law and the reality of joining because this is the foundation for true love.” (I wish to know more about law and the reality of joining)
→If all of creation is/were organized – then there would be no need to worry about events caused from elsewhere, nor, if one traveled, that there be any danger.
“God’s will is a force of attraction that organizes.”
You might feel you are learning way too much about me, my life, its problems and “my journey.” It is “a journey,” one with which you may find some similarities or parallels. The New Message and Steps tell us that failure is a path to learning. So skip over what doesn't seem useful to you. It is certainly not a heroic tale. Stick with your Steps and use your journal to clear out your mind.