Step 137 - I will accept the mystery of my life. Entry for Step 136 - My purpose is to reclaim my Knowledge and to allow it to express itself in the world.

Greetings All –

YOUR LIFE IS A MYSTERY. Your origin, your purpose here and your destination when you leave are very mysterious. They can only be experienced to be comprehended. How can you, at this given moment, understand the mystery of your life? You would have to be at the end of your life to understand what has transpired thus far, and you are not at the end of your life in the world. You would have to see the world from your Ancient Home to understand the true meaning of the world. You are in the world now, so you must be present to the world. Yet, this mystery can be experienced and must be experienced. You cannot understand it at this moment, but in this moment you can experience it fully. Within this experience, it will yield to you all of the things that you now need to take the vital step that is waiting for you to take.

THEREFORE, DO NOT BURDEN YOUR MIND with the requirement of understanding, for you will seek the impossible and will only confuse yourself and add to the burden of your thinking. Rather, give yourself to experience the mystery of your life with wonder and appreciation that the world is far greater than what your senses have reported thus far and that your life is far greater than what your judgments have determined.

REPEAT THIS IDEA UPON THE HOUR and practice your RAHN meditation twice today with great depth and sincerity. Allow your practice today to reaffirm your commitment to Knowledge, for you need only follow the steps as they are given.

PRACTICE 137: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

A good deal of information is presented in this Step, bringing together threads already introduced. The first time one can mostly just read the words. Great understanding may be had though, with greater in the future.

From the Journal:

6:21 A.M. Tuesday, Nov 30

7:30 A.M. S2K 136 – Presents a fearful scenario. It affirms “My purpose is to reclaim my Knowledge and to allow it to express itself in the world.” 136  My fear is that my Knowledge is an Atomic Bomb that would destroy me – on one hand, or more likely, a flickering match that would embarrass me. The word repetition of RAHN also makes me uneasy. This thinking further isolates me by through – and reduces my desire for my current work. …

10 p.m. A wasted evening; Food, Food, Food. No RAHN meditation. Losing it? I do not know.

10:25 p.m. What has meaning – it all falls away…am I even here?

Having a rough day; you might have those too. Still, I kept on. You should too.