Step 138 - I need only follow the steps as they are given. Entry for Step 137 - I will accept the mystery of my life.

Greetings All –

THE TRUTH OF THIS IS SO VERY OBVIOUS, if you will think of the many things that you have learned by simply following the steps in preparation. To not participate and to attempt to understand is utterly fruitless, utterly frustrating and without a happy or satisfying result of any kind. We are preparing you to participate in life, not to judge it, for life will hold a greater promise than your judgments could ever reveal. Your understanding is born of participation and is the result of participation. Thus, learn to participate and then to understand, for this is the true sequence of things.

THIS DAY REMEMBER YOUR HOURLY PRACTICES and allow your two meditations in stillness to become deeper. Allow no thoughts of fear, anxiety or self-doubt to dissuade you from your greater activity. Your ability to practice regardless of your emotional state demonstrates that the presence of Knowledge is within you, for Knowledge is beyond all emotional states and is unfettered by them. If you wish to see the stars, you must look beyond the clouds. What are your fears but clouds that pass through your mind? They only change the character of the surface of your mind, but the depth of your mind remains unchanged forever.

PRACTICE 138: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

From the Journal:

12:10 A.M. Wednesday, December 1, 1999

I‘ve eaten myself silly. Many deadlines – no action. Not even to read/prepare for the SU lecture. My ego/personal side resists? My indolence? My fear? My fear!

6:30 A.M. Did not follow the practice – had a fat night of the soul overeating. On with the program – and do what I can.

S2K “I will accept the mystery of my life.” (and the practices which mysteriously lead to the experiences.)

7:30 p.m. Home to meditate. I’ve eaten – then must return to the office for RTOP preparation. Last night I didn’t follow the practice and the night was messy. …

On the Steps page there are a few underline of areas considered significant and a question again of the Holy Instant? Is that an experience of the mystery?

All in all, not following the practice had “an impact,” as noted in the journal. Some people stop, re-center, then move on – or stay stopped, coming back weeks, months, maybe years after. I did not stop, I just kept on.