Step 136 - My purpose is to reclaim my Knowledge and to allow it to express itself in the world. Entry for Step 135 - I will not define my destiny today.

Greetings All –

THIS WILL ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS concerning your purpose. As you follow this purpose, your calling in life — which is a specific role that you will be asked to take — will naturally emerge step by step. It will not require your definition. It will simply emerge, and you will understand it more deeply and more completely with each step, for each step will fulfill it even more.

YOUR KNOWLEDGE IS YOUR PURPOSE. Remind yourself of this upon the hour, and be glad that an answer has been given. But the answer is not merely an idea. It is an opportunity for preparation, for all true answers to all genuine questions are some form of preparation. It is the preparation that you require and not answers alone. Your mind is full of answers already, and what have they done but add to the burden of your thinking? Follow, then, the preparation given this day and each day within our program so that you may receive the answer to your question. Your purpose is to reclaim your Knowledge, and that is what we will undertake today.

AGAIN, REMIND YOURSELF OF YOUR AFFIRMATION upon the hour. Give it thought throughout the day so that it may be the sole focus of your understanding today. In your two longer meditation practices, continue to repeat the word RAHN, which will stimulate Ancient Knowledge within you. You do not need to understand the potency of this practice to receive its full benefit. To receive its full benefit you need only practice it as it is given.

PRACTICE 136: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

Note: “…your calling in life …will simply emerge ….”

From the Journal:

6:15 A.M. Monday, November 29, 1999 –
S2K – continues. GCW makes more sense…many paths are offered on this world…

7:15 p.m. Where am I? Missing out on the stock market boom. Not yet a year: not yet Y2K; I will always have enough – I must pursue S2K – only I know I’m going the opposite way. I have the intuition, but have not been in a position to use it. I don’t have; haven’t had good advisors – I’ve not looked for them either. I thought I was doin OK – but I wasn’t – I started thinking, and now am doing worse.

9:05 A.M. What do I have? RAHN I’m watching myself disappear.

10 p.m. I did not return to work. I’ve much to do – including a lecture on Friday. Am I ill; self-destructive – or in a float between the normal world and GCW. I sent an e-mail to Patricia Summers looking for someone to talk to.

The world is exploding into thousands of paths for the bright and educated if one believes the media. It could be a great technological world – or a big flop. Is it irreversible?

I don’t seem to be participating. Sitting out on the sidelines. Where will reality show through if there is such a thing.

RAHN – Can this word stir ancient memories?

In the beautiful planet people adapt to changes and create more value. Here I’m working on the Shenandoah Valley future DNA virtually alone. I am the network hub. I don’t even know what I need.

GCW-I CH-19 – Fulfillment. Is my life fulfilling at this point? My energy is falling short of my visions which is personally minimal, yet global; simply that the world’s locals cooperate in regions. I’ve made a tiny bit of progress – advancing regional water issues from the middle –w/o science myself.

Many pieces of my life are OK. I’m most fulfilled in the woods or in Holy Instants. The books say that is more important.

If the future is about relationship, then I have plenty and can create more, I just need to remember names.

10:50 p.m. I’ve come here to do something – I guess that’s what I’ll do. All I need is to have my Knowledge reveal it.

Here, in my first time through Steps, I’m struggling with the notions presented. You may be as well. I do sense the direction is correct, but what does it all mean? Steps will lead us through. More surprises ahead.